Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The lline graph is telling the number of jobs in four sectors of economy in the US [redacted phone].

The ratio of manufacturing was low in 1960 it was 15 but it was high in year 1980 is in between 20 but it decresses in year 2020.

The figure of retail in year 1960 was bit low at 5 but by the time it get improve as in year 1980 it bost to 10. slowely it get more improve in 2000 to 15 and at last in 2020 it went from 55 to tittle higher.

Now if we talk about agriculture it was higher in year 1960 it was 55 but by the time it decreases in year 1980 and same in year 2000 but in 2020 it went little more decreses. At last healthcare departnment was bit low in year in 1960 but above than 0. it improves in year 1980 but less than 5, but after 20 years in 2000 it boost to 11 at last in year 2020 it did great to 15.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response identifies all four sectors and gives some relevant figures, including manufacturing at 15 in 1960 and 20 in 1980, and healthcare rising to 11 in 2000. However, the account is minimal and contains important inaccuracies: agriculture starts at about 6, not 55, and retail reaches about 16 in 2020 rather than rising from 55. Manufacturing’s decline after 1980 is mentioned but not quantified, and the response gives no clear overall summary of the contrasting trends or the sectors’ relative positions by 2020. To make the report more complete, state the main patterns in an overview, select accurate key figures, and compare the sectors directly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response is divided into paragraphs and generally moves through the sectors in a recognisable order, using transitions such as “Now if we talk about agriculture” and “At last healthcare.” This gives the reader a basic route through the information. However, the organisation is largely a sequence of separate descriptions rather than a clear overview followed by logically grouped comparisons. Some links are awkward or unclear, particularly “at last in 2020 it went from 55 to tittle higher,” which makes the retail trend difficult to follow. Use an opening overview, group related upward and downward trends, and make each sentence’s time reference and comparison explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses a small set of relevant terms, including “manufacturing,” “retail,” “agriculture,” “healthcare,” and “decreases,” so the topic is usually identifiable. However, vocabulary is basic and repetitive, and several inaccurate or misspelled expressions strain understanding: “ratio” is not suitable for the number of jobs, “bost” and “decreses” are misspelled, and “did great” is too informal and unclear for an academic report. Phrases such as “get improve” and “bit low” also lack precision. Build a more accurate trend vocabulary and use standard collocations, for example “the number of jobs,” “rose steadily,” “declined,” and “reached approximately.” Proofread spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both simple statements and longer clauses, and the reader can sometimes follow the intended sequence of years. However, sentence structures are very limited and frequent errors affect clarity. For example, “The ratio of manufacturing was low in 1960 it was 15” joins clauses without suitable punctuation, while “it was high in year 1980 is in between 20” has an unclear verb structure. Articles and tense forms are also inconsistent, as in “in year 1980” and “it get improve.” Use complete, clearly punctuated sentences, maintain past-tense forms when describing the historical data, and practise accurate comparative structures such as “rose from … to …” and “was higher than ….”

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