Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illusrates inforamtion based on the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy between 1960 to 2020 in US.

Overall, the trend of jobs between following four sectors has been abit mix by multiply ups and downs. Retail and Healthcase were the most most steady grown jobs seen throught-out years. whereas, Manufacturing and Agriculture jobs recorded decline over the years.

In 1960, Manufacturing jobs was the most demanded in the country with around approxmaitely 15 millions. whereas, healthcare were the down graded of all with around only 2 millions. By the following years, both Manufacturing and Healthcare jobs increase as Manfacturing reached it's peak number around 20 millions and healthcare rose to 5 millions. 2020, it was the final year and the worst for Manfacturing as it drop to it's lower point at 13 millions jobs and healthcare steady reached its forever highest number to 15 millions.

Lastly, Agriculture and Retail both were the at the same numbers of jobs in 1960. by the years, Retail jobs increased and Agriculture jobs declined. In 2020, Retail jobs reached it's most high number of jobs, whereas, Agriculture decease to it's worst number of jobs at around 3 millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing rises to a peak before falling, retail and healthcare grow, and agriculture declines. You also include relevant comparisons, such as manufacturing being highest in 1960 and retail and agriculture starting at similar levels. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: healthcare reaches about 16 million in 2020, not 15 million, and agriculture ends at about 2 million, not 3 million. The overview’s claim that manufacturing and agriculture both “recorded decline over the years” overlooks manufacturing’s initial rise, while “most steady grown” does not clearly describe the trends. More precise reporting of the four series and a clearer overview would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs grouping the sectors. This gives the reader a basic route through the information. However, progression within sentences and between ideas is sometimes difficult to follow. Repeated use of “whereas” and “by the years” feels mechanical, and the final paragraph’s “Lastly” does not add a clear relationship to the preceding comparison. Some references are also unclear, such as “the down graded of all” and “it was the final year.” Organise the details in a consistent sequence—such as describing each sector’s start, key change, and end—and use linking phrases that express the actual comparison or contrast.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “peak,” “declined,” “increased,” and “reached,” so the main trends can generally be understood. However, the range and control are limited, with several inaccurate or unnatural expressions: “most demanded” suggests popularity rather than job numbers, “steady grown jobs” is not a natural collocation, and “worst number” is unsuitable for describing a low figure. Spelling errors such as “illusrates,” “inforamtion,” and “Manfacturing” also make the writing less polished. Choose precise terms for data movement and check spelling carefully; for example, use “highest figure” and “fell to its lowest level” rather than evaluative wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including contrasts with “whereas” and time clauses such as “By the following years.” However, errors in sentence structure, agreement, tense, and articles are frequent enough to make some sentences awkward or unclear. For example, “Manufacturing jobs was” should use a plural verb, while “healthcare were” has the opposite agreement problem. The sentence beginning “2020, it was the final year” lacks a clear grammatical connection, and “it drop to it’s lower point” has an incorrect verb form and possessive construction. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and build comparisons in complete sentences, checking subject–verb agreement and punctuation.

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