Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrate the number of jobs in four different sectors from the 1960 to 2020 in the America.

Overall, the two sectors including retail and healthcare show a steady job growth over the passsage of time while the agriculture and manufacturing does not show a continouse rise in their jobs.

In US, the retail sector increased their jobs upto 10 millions in 1980, which subsequently reaches to 15 millions in 2000 and ultimately crosses this figure in 2020. Meanwhile, the healthcare also show a clear rise in their jobs. This sector steadily increased the jobs from nearly 2 millions and reaches upto 5 million in 1980, then cross the 10 millions figure 2000 and finally approaches to approximately 16 millions in 2020.

However, the other two sector in US do not show the rise in their jobs. In 1960, the number of jobs in agriculture is nearly 6 million which became drop upto 4 millions in 1980 and keep the same figure in 2000 but in 2020 it became decreased. While the manufacturing sector shows a clear rise in jobs from 1960 to 1980, which are 20 millions jobs, but then it shows a continuose fall from 1980 to 2000 and then to 2020 where the number of jobs are about 13 millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main contrast accurately: retail and healthcare rise, while agriculture declines and manufacturing peaks before falling. The overview gives the reader a useful summary, and the body includes relevant figures for all four sectors. Most reported values match the graph, including healthcare’s rise from about 2 to 16 million and manufacturing’s fall to around 13 million. However, the agriculture figure for 1980 is given as 4 million rather than about 3 million, and the final agriculture value is only described vaguely as having decreased. The overview also says manufacturing does not show a continuous rise, which is accurate but could be more informative by stating that it peaked in 1980. More precise comparisons, especially that retail and healthcare both reached about 16 million by 2020, would strengthen the report.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, an overview, and separate paragraphs covering the rising and declining sectors. This makes the information easy to follow, and transitions such as “Overall,” “Meanwhile,” and “However” help signal the relationships between points. The progression within each sector is generally chronological. Some linking is mechanical or repetitive, however, with repeated use of “then” and “in 2020,” and the long sentences in the final paragraph make the sequence less smooth. The reference “the other two sector” is also not fully clear in number, while “this sector” is repeated without much variation. Grouping the figures into more concise comparisons and using a wider range of clear referencing would make cohesion more flexible.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic vocabulary to describe trends, including “increased,” “rise,” “fall,” and “approaches,” and the meaning is generally understandable. There is some attempt at varied reporting language, but several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural: “crosses this figure” is unclear for a value that rises above 15 million, and “became drop” does not express a decline correctly. Spelling errors such as “continouse,” “continuose,” and “passsage” are noticeable, while “jobs upto 10 millions” uses an unsuitable form and plural. These issues limit precision and make the vocabulary less controlled. Aim for accurate trend verbs and standard collocations, and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses linked with “while,” “which,” and “but,” and the overall meaning can usually be followed. However, errors occur across verb agreement, tense, articles, and number. For example, “The line graph illustrate” needs subject–verb agreement, and “the agriculture and manufacturing does not show” has a plural subject with a singular verb. In “the healthcare also show,” the verb form is incorrect, while “from the 1960 to 2020” uses an unnecessary article. Several sentences combine many stages with commas and conjunctions, making grammatical control less secure. Use shorter, well-controlled sentences alongside complex ones, and check agreement and verb forms in each clause.

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