Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

the line graph shows information about four different sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020

overall health care and retail sectors outraced manufacturing and agriculture. in1960 manufacturing sector has 15 million jobs but it showed a downward trend by 2020

To begin with agriculture, it has 6 million jobs in 1960 but showed a downfall by 3 millionin the year 1980 and continued to manage the same untill 2000 and later reduced to 1 million again and ended as least sector out of all. manufacturing had 5 million jobs in the begining outweighing all other sectors showed an increase upto 20 million in the year 1980 and from there it gradually decreased to 13 million by the year 2020.

though retail and healthcare sector lacked behind with 6 million and 3 million jobs initially it showed a massive growth by 5% and 3% by the year 1980 and continued to outrace the other sectors. but, in the year 2020 healthcare sector seemed to be growing sector by reaching 16 million whereas retail sector got stable but both the sectors ended up with 16 million jobs by the year 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall contrast: healthcare and retail grow, while manufacturing and agriculture decline over the period. Several figures and comparisons are also relevant, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and its fall to 13 million by 2020. However, some details are inaccurate: manufacturing began at 15 million, not 5 million; agriculture ended at about 2 million, not 1 million; and healthcare started at 2 million, not 3 million. The claim that both retail and healthcare ended at 16 million is correct, but the description of retail as stable overlooks its continued rise from 15 to 16 million after 2000. More precise reporting of these features would make the summary clearer and more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about agriculture and manufacturing, then retail and healthcare. This gives the reader a basic route through the information. However, the overview is brief and does not clearly organise the main comparisons, while the body paragraphs combine several trends in long sentences. Linking words such as “To begin with,” “though,” and “but” are used, but some connections are awkward or do not show the relationship between the data clearly. For example, the final sentence shifts from healthcare’s growth to retail’s stability and then to their shared endpoint. Grouping the two declining sectors together and the two growing sectors together, with clearer transitions, would improve progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “downward trend,” “increase,” “decreased,” and “growth,” so the main patterns are generally understandable. There are also attempts at less common expressions, such as “outweighing” and “continued to outrace,” but these are not natural choices for comparing job numbers. Several word-choice and spelling problems reduce precision: “downfall” is unsuitable for a numerical decline, “lacked behind” is not the correct expression, and “stable” does not accurately describe retail’s continued increase. Spelling and spacing issues such as “begining” and “in1960” also detract from control. Prefer standard, precise trend language and check spelling before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses joined with “but,” “though,” and “whereas.” This allows you to report several trends, but control is inconsistent. Verb forms and agreement are often inaccurate: “manufacturing sector has 15 million jobs” and “it showed” shift between tenses, while “it showed a massive growth … and continued to outrace” has an unclear subject. Articles and sentence boundaries also need attention, as in “overall health care and retail sectors” and the long sentence beginning “To begin with agriculture.” Use past tense consistently for the historical data, make the subject of each clause explicit, and divide long sentences into shorter, grammatically controlled units. These changes would make your comparisons easier to follow.

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