Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 7.0)
The line graph illustrates the level of employment in four sectors between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, all four sectors followed different trends throughout the period. While the retail sector experienced the greatest increase, agriculture recorded the most significant decline. In addition, both the retail and healthcare sectors ended the period at the highest level of employment..
To begin with, retail started at around 6 million employees in 1960 before increasing steadily to approximately 15 million in 2000. It then continued to rise, reaching a peak of 16 million by the end of the period.this was followed by health care started at approximately 3 million before increasing gradually and reaching a peak of 16 million by the end of the period.
Turning to manufacturing, employment stood at approximately 15 million in 1960 and rose to a peak of 20 million in 1980 before declining gradually to around 13 million by the end of the period. By contrast, agriculture followed the opposite trend, falling dramatically from about 6 million to only 2 million over the same period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 7.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0
You identify the main patterns accurately: retail and healthcare rise, agriculture declines, and manufacturing peaks in 1980 before falling. The overview also correctly notes that retail and healthcare finish at the joint highest level, and the figures given for retail and manufacturing are well supported by the chart. This gives the report a clear, relevant account of the key features. However, the healthcare description is inaccurate at the start: it says employment began at approximately 3 million, whereas the chart shows about 2 million in 1960, and it omits the intermediate rise to around 5 million in 1980 and 11 million in 2000. More precise coverage of this series would make the comparisons more fully supported.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The response is organised into a clear introduction, overview and two detail paragraphs, with a sensible progression from the rising sectors to manufacturing and agriculture. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “To begin with,” and “By contrast” help signal the structure, and the reader can follow the main comparisons. The cohesion is not consistently smooth, however. The transition “this was followed by health care started” combines two sentence patterns awkwardly, while “over the same period” is a broad reference after several different trends have been described. There are also visible punctuation breaks, including “period.this” and the doubled full stop in the overview. Use a clean sentence boundary and a more explicit transition when moving between series.
Lexical Resource: Band 7.0
You use a suitable range of chart-reporting vocabulary, including “experienced the greatest increase,” “recorded the most significant decline,” “stood at,” and “reaching a peak.” These choices help describe change and comparison clearly, and the language is generally appropriate to an academic summary. Some phrasing is less precise or natural: “the level of employment” is broad when the graph counts jobs, and “this was followed by health care started” is an awkward construction. “Falling dramatically” also slightly overstates the agriculture decline, which is a steady fall from about 6 million to 2 million. Aim for precise collocations and avoid intensifiers unless the scale of change clearly supports them.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5
You show a useful mix of simple and complex forms, including the contrast structure “While the retail sector…,” the time clause “before increasing steadily,” and the manufacturing sentence with a sequence of changes. Most of the trends remain understandable. Some errors and punctuation problems nevertheless interrupt the flow: “health care started” is attached to the preceding clause without a grammatical link, and “period.this” lacks a space and sentence boundary. The overview also ends with two full stops. These are noticeable control issues rather than barriers to understanding. Separate the healthcare information into a complete sentence, check clause structure when using “followed by,” and proofread sentence endings and spacing.
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