Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.0)
The graph illustartes the information regarding number of opportunities in four different sectors - Maufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare in the USA economy over the decades from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, Healthcare and Retail fields provided the significant job opportunities at same trend. While, Manufacturing trend decline. Agriculture jobs are steadily decreased over the period given.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0
The response identifies the four sectors and gives a brief overview, noting that agriculture declined and that healthcare and retail grew. However, the overview is too vague to capture the main comparisons accurately: manufacturing rose to a peak in 1980 before falling, while retail and healthcare increased and finished at about the same level. The claim that healthcare and retail followed “the same trend” overlooks their different starting points and growth patterns. No figures or detailed comparisons are reported, so the key features are not adequately summarised. The response also contains only 56 words, well below the required 150, leaving most of the task unaddressed. Include an overview and support it with selected figures across the period.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The response has a basic, sensible order: an introductory sentence is followed by an overview, and the sectors are named before their trends are discussed. “Overall” and “While” provide some signposting. However, the answer is so brief that it does not develop a clear progression through the data or make comparisons in a structured way. The sentence beginning “While” is also left as a fragment, which weakens the connection between the manufacturing trend and the other observations. To improve, organise the report into an introduction, a concise overview, and detail paragraphs grouping related trends, using clear links such as “By contrast” and “Meanwhile” where appropriate.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The response uses relevant topic vocabulary, including “sectors,” “Manufacturing,” “Retail,” and “Agriculture,” and attempts to describe change with “decline” and “steadily decreased.” However, the range is narrow and some choices are inaccurate or unnatural: “number of opportunities” is less precise than “number of jobs,” and “at same trend” does not express the intended comparison clearly. There are also spelling errors in “illustartes” and “Maufacturing.” These issues are noticeable, though the general topic remains understandable. Build a more precise range for describing trends, such as “rose,” “peaked,” “fell,” and “remained stable,” and check spelling and collocations before submitting.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response attempts both a longer introductory sentence and an overview, but grammatical control is uneven. In “While, Manufacturing trend decline,” the clause is incomplete, the comma after “While” is misplaced, and the verb form is incorrect; a complete version could be “Manufacturing employment rose initially, then declined.” “Agriculture jobs are steadily decreased” combines an unsuitable auxiliary with a past participle, while “at same trend” is missing an article. The sentence structures are mostly simple, with little accurate variety. Practise forming complete clauses and using consistent past-tense verbs to describe the historical data, while checking articles and subject–verb patterns.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.
