Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The graph illustrates the number of jobs in different sectors of US economy from year 1960 -2020.

Overall, the healthcare sector saw a rise and retail reaching at the same level as healthcareby 2020. Whereas, the agriculture and manufacturing sector jobs declined by the year 2020.

The retail sector had about 6 million jobs in 1960 which rose to 10 million in the year 1980, with a continuous rise in jobs reaching 15 million by 2000 and by year 2020 the retail sector had around 16 million jobs.

The healthcare sector had the lowest jobs of around 2 million in the year 1960 that increased to 5 million by 1980 . There was a steep rise in jobs in healthcare sector by the year 2000 reaching 12 million. By year 2020 the heathcare sector had jobs of similiar number as that of retail sector staying at 16 million.

By year 1960, the largest number of jobs were in manufacturing sector of around 15 million that grew to 20 million by year 1980 but a decline was seen by 2000, reaching around 17 million which further continued to decrease in 2020, declining to 13 million.

The agriculture sector showed a rapid decline in all these years with around 6 million jobs in 1960 decreasing to 3 million by the year 1980. The numebr of jobs stayed constant at 3 million in year 2000 and further declined to around 2 million by the year 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You select the main trends and support them with relevant figures: manufacturing peaks at 20 million in 1980 before falling to 13 million, while agriculture declines from 6 to 2 million. The overview also identifies the broad rise in healthcare and retail and their equal endpoint, which gives the report a clear summary of the graph. Most reported values match the data; describing healthcare as reaching 12 million in 2000 is a small approximation from the chart’s 11 million. To strengthen the response further, make the overview more precise about the key comparison: by 2020 healthcare and retail are joint highest, while manufacturing remains above agriculture but has fallen from its peak.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response is arranged in a sensible sequence: an introduction and overview are followed by paragraphs describing retail and healthcare, then manufacturing and agriculture. This makes the information easy to follow overall. However, some linking is mechanical or awkward, particularly the overview’s “Whereas” sentence fragment and repeated transitions such as “By year 2020” and “The sector had.” The retail and healthcare details are grouped together, but the paragraph could signal their comparison more clearly rather than presenting them as separate mini-reports. Use a wider range of natural links, and ensure each sentence connects grammatically to the next; for example, combine the two rising sectors around their shared endpoint.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of task-relevant vocabulary, including “steep rise,” “rapid decline,” “reaching,” and “continued to decrease,” so the main trends are communicated clearly. Some repetition of “jobs,” “sector,” and “by the year” makes the description less flexible, while several word-choice and spelling slips reduce precision: “similiar,” “heathcare,” and “numebr.” The phrase “retail reaching at the same level” is also an awkward collocation. Aim for more accurate trend language and vary repeated nouns with terms such as employment or figures where appropriate. Proofreading spelling and choosing natural combinations will make the vocabulary more controlled without requiring unnecessarily complex words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and more complex forms, including relative clauses and time clauses, and the sequence of past-tense descriptions is generally understandable. Some grammatical errors remain. The overview begins “Overall, the healthcare sector saw a rise and retail reaching…,” where the verb forms do not form a parallel structure; “healthcare rose, while retail reached…” would be clearer. “Whereas, the agriculture and manufacturing sector jobs declined” is a fragment and has an agreement problem. Articles and prepositions are also sometimes missing or awkward, as in “in US economy” and “By year 1960.” Punctuation spacing around full stops is inconsistent. Check sentence completeness, parallel verb forms, and article use while retaining the range of structures you already attempt.

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