Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrate shows the information the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy across manufacturing , retail, agriculture , healthcare in the us from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the tow sectors are higest number of jobs in us . this is a retail and healthcare the two sectors are good economy . But the other sectors are decresed and this ecnomy level is down.

First, the manufacturing this catogrie in 1960 is very good jobs manufacturing in this year is 15 millions jobs . But the next year is manufacturing jobs are increased in 20 millions jobs .But 2000 in jobs are down and astimated 17 millons jobs and last year 2020 in jobs are very fast decresed and 13 millons jobs.And is retail this 1960 is 6 millons jobs but 1980 in retail jobs are 10 millon and 2000 are jobs are growth and 15 millions jobs and last 2020 in 16 millons jobs.

And next agriculture this story are same in retail. so , this sector are 1960 in jobs are 3 millons and 1980 are jobs are fall in and 5 million jobs and 2000 11 millons jobs and last 2020 in 16 millons jobs. And last healthcare healthcare in 1960 in 6 millions jobs and 1980 are dip in and 2000 are same here jobs and last 2020 in jobs are 3 millions jobs

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response attempts to describe all four sectors and includes some figures that match the graph, such as manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and retail rising to 16 million by 2020. However, several key details are confused or assigned to the wrong sector: agriculture is described as rising from 3 to 5, 11 and 16 million, when it actually falls from about 6 to 2 million; those rising figures largely belong to healthcare. Healthcare is also given an incorrect starting value and trend. The overview that retail and healthcare are the leading sectors by the end is relevant, but the claim that the other sectors decreased is too broad because retail rises and manufacturing first increases. Prioritise accurate trends and a clear overview of the main changes.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic overall structure: an introduction, an overview, and a longer section attempting to report the data. The use of sequence markers such as “First,” “And next,” and “And last” helps signal that different sectors are being discussed. However, progression is difficult to follow because the sector descriptions are not consistently separated or clearly linked, and the agriculture and healthcare accounts become mixed up. Several sentences run together, for example the manufacturing account moves through multiple years without clear sentence boundaries. Organise the body into two focused paragraphs, group related trends, and use clear comparisons and references so readers can follow which figures belong to each sector.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some task-relevant vocabulary, including “increased,” “down,” “jobs,” and “millions,” and attempts to describe change over time. However, the range is limited and many expressions are inaccurate or repetitive, such as “very good jobs,” “this story,” and “jobs are growth.” Spelling errors including “higest,” “decresed,” “catogrie,” and “millons” also make the report less clear. Some word choices obscure the intended trend, particularly where “dip” and “fall” are used for the wrong sector or direction. Build a small set of precise chart verbs and nouns—such as rise, decline, remain stable, peak, and employment—and check spelling and collocations before finishing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The writing shows an attempt to form longer sentences and use past-tense reporting, but sentence structures are often incomplete or incorrectly assembled. For example, “The line graph illustrate shows the information the number of jobs” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “the next year is manufacturing jobs are increased” combines incompatible verb forms. Subject–verb agreement, articles, and tense are also inconsistent, as in “the tow sectors are higest” and “this sector are.” Punctuation is unreliable, with several clauses joined by full stops or commas without clear boundaries. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add controlled comparisons using forms such as “Manufacturing rose to… before falling to…”

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