Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

in this grapgh that gives us informations about number jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1930 and 2020 wich are manufacturing ,retail, agriculture and healthcare .

we can see that manufacturing used to lead the race with 15 millioin worker in 1960 as the most workerks , and the it reaches it's peak at 1980 ,the phase of industrial revolution, with 20 million worker leaving behind the other sections with a big lead , theb between 2000 and 2020 the manufacturing section jobs started falling and become less demanded .

for the retail and agriculture both started with more than 5 million jobs at 1960 but as time passes the demand on retail increases for it to lead the race on 2020 along with healthcare .

however the agriculture section jobs kept decreasing for it to reach about 2.5 million workers in the US at 2020 .

and for the healthcare it ended up with more than 15 million workers on 2020 even though it started with less than 3 million workers on 1960

the four sectors of the economy had seen such a change between the 1960 and 2020 , for the least demading sector on 1960 to become the most one on 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing rises to a peak and then declines, retail and healthcare grow, and agriculture falls. You also make a useful overall comparison by noting that healthcare moves from the smallest sector to one of the largest. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: the chart begins in 1960, not 1930; retail and agriculture do not both start above five million (both are about six million); and healthcare and retail are approximately level at 16 million in 2020. The claim that manufacturing’s decline reflects reduced demand is an explanation not shown by the graph, while calling 1980 the “phase of industrial revolution” is unsupported. A more precise overview and accurate comparisons would make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable sequence, moving from manufacturing to retail and agriculture, then healthcare and a concluding comparison. Linking expressions such as “however,” “as time passes” and “and for the healthcare” help signal relationships between points. Nevertheless, the ideas are crowded into long, loosely connected sentences, and the paragraphing does not clearly separate an overview from supporting details. Some links are also imprecise: “for the retail and agriculture both started” makes the comparison difficult to follow, and the final sentence repeats the idea that the sectors changed without adding a specific summary. Organise the response into a brief overview followed by two focused detail paragraphs, and use clearer sentence boundaries and references.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “peak,” “increases,” “decreasing,” “workers” and “demanded,” so the main trends are generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing data. Phrases such as “lead the race,” “leaving behind the other sections with a big lead” and “the least demanding sector” sound informal or do not express the intended comparison precisely. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “grapgh,” “informations,” “millioin” and “demading,” which reduce clarity. Use standard trend language such as “rose,” “declined,” “remained stable” and “accounted for,” and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to combine ideas using clauses and time expressions, for example, “as time passes the demand on retail increases” and “even though it started with less than 3 million workers.” However, sentence structures are often incomplete or faulty, and errors in tense, agreement, articles and punctuation make some relationships difficult to follow. For instance, “and the it reaches it's peak” has an unclear subject and incorrect verb form, while “the manufacturing section jobs started falling and become less demanded” shifts awkwardly between verb forms. Several sentences run together without full stops, and commas are often missing. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then add subordinate clauses while keeping the subject and verb forms consistent.

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