Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates the number of people employed in four different sectors of the US economy, namely manufacturing , retail, agriculture and healthcare between 1960 and 2020 .
Overall, manufacturing was the largest employment sector at the begning of period, but its figure declined considerably towards the end . In contrast, healthcare experienced a significant increase and became the biggest employer in 2020. Meanwhile , retail employment rose steadily , whereas agriculture remained relatively stable.
In 1960 , approximately 15 million people worked in manufacturing , making it leading sector. This figure increased to around 20 million in 1980 before falling to about 17 million in 2000. By 2020 the number had dropped further to aproximately 13 million .
Regarding retail , employment stood at roughly 6 million in 1960 . it then rose gradually around 10 million in1980 and 15 million in2000
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
You identify the main contrast accurately: manufacturing starts as the largest sector and then declines, while healthcare rises to joint-highest employment by 2020. The manufacturing figures are also reported closely. However, the response only partly covers the chart: the retail account stops at 2000, and agriculture is described as “relatively stable” despite falling from about 6 million to 2 million. Healthcare’s figures and its final comparison with retail are not developed. The response is also below the required 150 words, which contributes to these omissions. To strengthen the report, include the missing end-point figures and describe the main changes in all four sectors.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs beginning with manufacturing and retail. The overview gives the reader a useful guide to the main trends, and linking expressions such as “In contrast,” “Meanwhile,” and “Regarding retail” help signal comparisons. However, the final paragraph ends abruptly after the 2000 retail figure, so the progression feels incomplete and the reader is left without a conclusion to that comparison. The overview’s claim that agriculture remained relatively stable is also not well supported by the data. Complete the sector-by-sector account and use the final paragraph to compare the 2020 outcomes; this would make the organisation more fully developed.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
You use an adequate range of task-relevant vocabulary, including “employed,” “declined considerably,” “experienced a significant increase,” and “rose steadily.” These choices communicate the broad trends clearly, and “approximately,” “roughly,” and “around” provide useful variation when reporting estimates. Some spelling and phrasing errors reduce precision, however: “begning” and “aproximately” are misspelled, while “making it leading sector” is not a natural collocation. The repeated use of “figure” and “number” also limits variety. Check spelling carefully and choose more precise expressions for employment totals and sector rankings, while retaining the clear, accessible style of the report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including the contrast structure “Overall, manufacturing …, but …” and the clause “before falling to about 17 million in 2000.” Most sentences are understandable, and the past-tense reporting is generally appropriate. Some errors in sentence boundaries, articles, and punctuation remain: “it then rose” begins with a lowercase letter after a full stop, and “making it leading sector” is missing an article. Spacing around punctuation and figures is also inconsistent. The final sentence is incomplete as a report of the retail trend, ending after the 2000 value without giving the later development. Proofread sentence starts and articles, and ensure each sentence expresses a complete comparison.
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