Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

the line graph illustrates data about total employment, in four differents fields of the economy in the US over the period from (1960 to 2020).

Overall,is its noticeable that the number of Jobs (in millions)is differents from sector to other,manufacturing marked te highest number in a period.in constrast,agriculture significated the lowest one,while both of Retail and Healthcare are rising since the beginning.

in 1960 Manufacturing started from the highest numbers of jobs 15 million and peaked to 20 in 1960,then

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the chart’s subject and period, and your overview correctly notes that agriculture is the smallest sector while retail and healthcare rise. However, the response addresses the task only minimally: it ends mid-sentence after “then,” so the later trends and key comparisons are not reported. There is also a factual error: manufacturing reaches 20 million in 1980, not “in 1960”; it then falls to 17 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020. The response is 80 words, below the required 150, which leaves the main features substantially undeveloped. To improve, complete the account and compare the sectors at the beginning and end of the period, using accurate figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening sentence is followed by an overview and then a detail paragraph beginning “in 1960.” This gives the reader some sense of the intended progression. However, the final paragraph stops after “then,” leaving the sequence incomplete and preventing a coherent account of the data. The overview also combines several points in one sentence without clear punctuation, as in “manufacturing marked te highest number in a period.in constrast.” Use separate, complete paragraphs for the introduction, overview and selected details, and connect comparisons explicitly—for example, explain how manufacturing’s decline contrasts with the growth in retail and healthcare.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant chart vocabulary, including “line graph,” “period,” “number of jobs,” “peaked,” and “rising,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or misspelled choices make the description less clear: “differents,” “significated,” and “te highest” do not communicate the intended meaning naturally. Phrases such as “total employment, in four differents fields” and “manufacturing marked the highest number” are also awkward collocations. Aim for precise, standard expressions such as “employment in four sectors,” “the highest figure,” and “the number of jobs increased.” Check spelling and word forms carefully, especially in the overview, where key comparisons need to be immediately clear.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both a complex opening (“over the period from…”) and an overview sentence, but the grammatical range remains narrow and control is inconsistent. For example, “Overall,is its noticeable that” has incorrect word order and punctuation; “the number of Jobs … is differents” has faulty agreement and sentence construction. The final detail sentence is incomplete, ending with “then,” so it does not form a complete grammatical statement. Capitalisation and spacing around punctuation are also inconsistent. Practise writing complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, such as “Overall, the number of jobs varied by sector.” Then use accurate past-tense verbs to describe each change and proofread sentence endings and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.