Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates number of occupations in four sectors of the economy in United States over the period of 1960 and 2020.Overall, it highlights the main upward or downward trend and key differences among the given data.

In general, jobs in healthcare and retail rise consitentely while mafucturing and agriculture faced a gradual decline. Although in meantime manufacturing jobs were rose in number but dropped off afterwards.

Looking more closely manufacturing job oppurtunities increased from 15 million in 1960 to 20 millions in 1980, from their the number goes down and ends up at about 13 millions in 2020. Similarly, agriculture and retail jobs were 6 millions in 1960 but number falls of agriculture jobs went down with the passage of time and account for below to 3 millions in 2020.

On the other hand, healthcare jobs were least in number with respect to other jobs in 1960 but show a significant growth and lies at about 16 million with retail jobs in 2020. Both of these occupations grew up over the period between these years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main broad movements and include several relevant figures: manufacturing rises from 15 million to 20 million before falling to about 13 million, while healthcare and retail both reach around 16 million by 2020. The overview also recognises contrasting trends, although it is imprecise: manufacturing did not decline throughout, and retail and healthcare do not rise consistently at every stage. The agriculture description is less fully developed; it gives the shared starting point with retail but does not report agriculture’s approximate 3 million level in 1980 and 2000 before its fall to 2 million. A clearer overview of the final ranking and the crossover in sector sizes would make the key comparisons more complete and precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the data. Phrases such as “Looking more closely” and “On the other hand” help signal shifts between the sectors. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. For example, “Similarly” introduces manufacturing and agriculture even though their trends differ, while “but number falls of agriculture jobs went down” makes the relationship between the shared starting figures and agriculture’s decline difficult to follow. The overview also repeats the idea of upward and downward trends without specifying the comparisons. Use clearer topic sentences and link each figure directly to the trend it supports; this would make progression easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of task vocabulary, including “increased,” “dropped off,” “significant growth,” and “over the period.” These choices communicate the broad trends, but several spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, such as “consitentely,” “mafucturing,” and “oppurtunities.” Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise: “number of occupations” is less suitable than “number of jobs,” and “grew up” does not naturally describe employment figures. Repetition of “jobs” and “number” also limits flexibility. Aim for accurate trend language such as “rose,” “declined,” “remained stable,” and “stood at,” and check spelling carefully so that your vocabulary supports rather than distracts from the data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, and the overall meaning is generally recoverable. However, some grammatical errors affect clarity and control. For example, “the period of 1960 and 2020” uses an incorrect time construction, and “manufacturing jobs were rose” has an incorrect verb form. In “the number goes down and ends up,” the tense shifts from past reporting to present, while “healthcare jobs … show a significant growth and lies” has inconsistent agreement and tense. Several sentences also combine clauses without clear grammatical links, particularly the agriculture sentence. Keep the reporting consistently in the past tense, check subject–verb agreement, and divide overloaded sentences into clearer units.

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