Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustartes the information about the number of emloyments in the US among the manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare sectors from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the manufacturing sector accounted for the highest employment opportunities in most years. While, the lowest number of jobs was represented by the agriculture sector throught the period. In contrast, the retail and healthcare sectors were grew steadily over time.

In 1960, the manufacturing sector offered 15 million jobs and reached a peak of 20 millions in 1980. After this, it experianced a slight decline of around 16 million in 2000 to 13 million in 2020. In contrast, the agriculture sector represented a lowest employment, stood at about 6 million in 1960. Then, this figure fell from 3 million to 2 million by 2020.

On the other hand, the retail and the healthcare sectors grew steadily over time. The retail sector was starting at just 6 million in 1960 to 15 million in 2000. Similarly, the healthcare sector also stood at around 3 million in 1960 to almost 12 million in 2000. By comparison, both these sectors overtook the manufacturing sector with the figure around 16 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the four sectors and give a clear overall picture: manufacturing leads for much of the period, agriculture remains lowest, and retail and healthcare rise. Several key figures are accurate, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and agriculture’s fall to 2 million by 2020. However, some details are imprecise or incomplete. Manufacturing is reported at “around 16 million” in 2000 rather than about 17 million, and healthcare begins at about 2 million, not 3 million. The claim that retail and healthcare both “overtook” manufacturing in 2020 is also unclear: both reached about 16 million, compared with manufacturing at 13 million. More precise comparisons and a clearer account of the sectors’ relative positions would strengthen the summary.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement, moving from an introduction and overview to two detail paragraphs. The contrast between manufacturing and agriculture, followed by retail and healthcare, gives the reader a sensible route through the data. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “In contrast,” and “By comparison” help signal relationships. However, some connections are mechanical or confusing: “While” begins a fragment-like contrast in the overview, and “On the other hand” does not clearly oppose the preceding paragraph. The final comparison also combines two sectors without explaining that they tie at about 16 million. Use transitions that express the exact relationship and make each paragraph’s comparisons more explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of task-related vocabulary, including “accounted for,” “peak,” “decline,” and “overtook,” and the meaning is generally clear. There are also attempts at varied phrasing for employment figures. However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate, such as “number of employments,” “employment opportunities,” and “represented a lowest employment”; these are less natural than “number of jobs” or “employment was lowest.” Spelling slips such as “illustartes,” “emloyments,” “throught,” and “experianced” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise, consistent terms for the chart’s measured quantity, and check spelling carefully, especially in the opening and overview.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and more complex forms, including a time clause (“After this…”) and contrast structures (“While…” and “In contrast…”). Most of the intended meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical errors occur. For example, “the retail and healthcare sectors were grew” combines incompatible verb forms; use “grew” or “were growing.” The phrase “the retail sector was starting at” should be “started at,” and “the agriculture sector represented a lowest employment, stood at” lacks a clear grammatical connection between its clauses. There are also article and number issues in “a peak of 20 millions.” Practise forming complete clauses and checking verb forms, articles, and singular/plural agreement while retaining your varied sentence structures.

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