Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph depicts the detail about the amount of jobs in four different sector of US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, The manufacturing sector had the most jobs than any other sector but faced decline over the years meanwhile the healthcare and retail stared from lower- point but experienced gradual growth while agriculture slightly decline.

to begin with, manufacturing employment rate stood at 15 million in 1960 and it rose to 20 in 1980 before it falling to approximately 13 million in 2020. The figure for agriculture were about 6 million in 1960. It experienced decline to around 3 million in 1980 and remain steady till 2000. Eventually it faced a slight decline in 2020.

On the other hand, retail and healthcare witnessed gradual growth from 1960 to 2000. In 1960, retail remains at 6 million while healthcare had 3 million approximately. The number rose to 10 and 5 million respectively in 1980. Afterwards, they again experienced increase till the end and stood at 16 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main patterns: manufacturing rises to a peak before declining, agriculture falls, and retail and healthcare grow. The overview also highlights the broad contrast between declining and expanding sectors, and most reported figures are consistent with the chart. However, the overview says manufacturing had more jobs than every other sector overall, which is not true by 2020: retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million, compared with manufacturing at about 13 million. The final comparison is also incomplete: retail and healthcare do not both grow steadily from 1960 to 2000, since healthcare rises particularly sharply after 1980. To strengthen the response, make the end-point ranking explicit and describe the sectors’ different growth patterns more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and separate paragraphs for manufacturing/agriculture and retail/healthcare. This makes the main comparisons easy to follow, and transitions such as “On the other hand” help signal a shift between groups. Some links are less precise or mechanical, however. “Meanwhile” joins contrasting trends in the overview without clearly showing their relationship, and “to begin with” is not capitalised after the paragraph break. The final paragraph also moves from the 2000 trend to the 2020 endpoint without giving the 2000 figures, leaving the progression less fully explained. Use transitions that express the exact contrast and connect each sector’s stages in a consistent sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a relevant range of trend vocabulary, including “rose,” “decline,” “remain steady,” “gradual growth,” and “stood at,” so the main movements are generally clear. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “employment rate” and “witnessed.” Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward: “the detail about the amount of jobs” is less natural than “the number of jobs,” and “manufacturing … had the most jobs” is imprecise when describing the whole period. “Stared from lower-point” is unclear, while “faced a slight decline” is an unnatural way to describe agriculture’s final fall. Aim for precise chart language and check spelling and word forms, including “sectors” and “started.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and more complex forms, including the contrast in “while agriculture slightly decline” and the sequence “before it falling.” Meaning is usually recoverable, but some errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation remain. For example, “before it falling” should be “before falling,” “the figure for agriculture were” should be “was,” and “remain steady” should be “remained steady.” The overview also has inconsistent capitalisation after the paragraph break (“Overall, The…”), and “retail remains at 6 million” uses an unsuitable tense for a past chart. These errors do not generally prevent understanding, but they reduce accuracy. Review past-tense consistency and subject–verb agreement, then proofread sentence boundaries and capital letters.

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