Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph depicts the differences between four sectors of the economy, namely manufacturing, retail, agriculture and health care, in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, manufacturing was the largest employment sector for much of the period, although its figures declined after reaching its peak in 1980 and in contrast sections like retail and healthcare grew over the period. While, agriculture saw a steady decline and became the smallest sector by 2020.

In 1960, Manufacturing employed about 15 million people compared to with around 6 million in retail. The number of jobs rose to its highest level in 1980 to 20 millions before falling afterwards to great extent which were around 16 millions in 200 and 12 million in 2020. Meanwhile, retail sector was thriving throughout its journey when it started from 10 million in 1980 to approx 15 million in 1980 and kept growing to nearby 16 million in 2020.

Healthcare also experienced progress throughout the mention years from around 2 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020. Whereas, jobs in agriculture were declining from 6 million in 1960 to 2 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then falls, retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture declines to the lowest level. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and healthcare reaching 16 million by 2020. This covers the task well, with some features reported in useful detail. However, the account is not fully precise: retail is said to rise from 10 million in 1980, although it was about 6 million in 1960 and 10 million in 1980; the later reference to “15 million in 1980” repeats the wrong year. The 2000 manufacturing figure is also given as 16 rather than about 17. Clarifying these comparisons and covering the middle-period figures more consistently would make the report more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the data. The overview usefully groups the declining sectors against those that grew, and transitions such as “Meanwhile” and “Whereas” help signal comparisons. However, some connections are awkward or unclear. “While, agriculture saw…” is not smoothly attached to the preceding sentence, and “throughout its journey” does not clearly explain the retail trend. The body also moves between sectors without consistently comparing their values at the same dates, which weakens progression. Organise the details around key years or contrasting trends, and use linking phrases only where they clarify the relationship between figures.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a suitable range of task vocabulary, including “depicts,” “declined,” “peak,” and “employed,” and the sector names are generally clear. Some attempts at varied phrasing, such as “experienced progress,” show an effort to avoid repetition. However, several choices are imprecise or unnatural for describing a graph: “thriving throughout its journey” is informal and vague, while “falling afterwards to great extent” is not a natural collocation. “Sections” is also less accurate than “sectors” in this context. These choices do not prevent the reader from understanding the main trends, but they reduce precision. Prefer neutral reporting language such as “increased steadily,” “fell considerably,” and “the number of jobs in retail.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including a contrast in the overview and clauses beginning “While” and “Whereas.” The main message is usually understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “compared to with around 6 million” has an incorrect construction, and “20 millions” and “16 millions” use an incorrect plural after a number. The sentence beginning “While, agriculture…” is punctuated and structured awkwardly, and “which were around 16 millions” has unclear reference and agreement. There is also a missing final digit in “200,” which makes the year unclear. Check number forms, clause boundaries, and pronoun references, and aim for more consistently controlled complex sentences.

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