Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The chart provides information regarding the number of jobs in four different categories of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, healthcare and retail experienced a significant rise, whereas agriculture declined steadily. Manufacturing in contrast, grew at first but than fell back over the period.

First of all, in 1960, manufacturing was the largest sector, with about 15 millions jobs and it rise to about 20 million in 1980. After that, it dropped to 12 million in 2020. While, retail began at around 6 million jobs and it rose consistently to 10 million in 1980 and then 16 million in 2020.

On the other hand, healthcare show a dramatic growth, increasing from 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980, then 16 million in 2020. While, agriculture was the only sector in decline. its job fell from 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 1980, and then 1 million in 2020. Comparatively, the US market shifted away from manufacturing and agriculture sector towards retail and healthcare over the sixty-year period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You identify the main overall pattern accurately: healthcare and retail rise, agriculture declines, and manufacturing peaks before falling. The comparisons are supported with relevant figures, including manufacturing at about 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and healthcare rising from 2 million to 16 million. The final observation about a shift towards retail and healthcare is also a useful synthesis. However, some details are inaccurate: manufacturing is about 13 million in 2020, not 12; agriculture is about 2 million, not 1; and retail and healthcare are both around 16 million in 2020. You also omit the 2000 figures, so the account of the later stages is less fully developed than the main trends.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs grouping the sectors. This makes the main trends easy to follow, and phrases such as “After that” and “On the other hand” help signal changes and contrasts. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or faulty. “While” begins sentences in two places, including “While, retail…” and “While, agriculture…”, where the punctuation and connection to the preceding idea are awkward. The manufacturing and retail comparison could be linked more smoothly, and the final comparison repeats the overview rather than adding a clearly developed point. Use transitions within complete sentences and make each paragraph’s comparisons more deliberate.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of task-appropriate vocabulary, including “experienced a significant rise,” “declined steadily,” “dramatic growth,” and “shifted away from.” These expressions communicate the broad trends clearly. Some word choices and collocations are less natural or precise, however: “four different categories of the economy” is less direct than “four economic sectors,” and “its job fell” is awkward when describing employment figures. There are also word-form and spelling slips, such as “millions jobs” and “than” in “but than fell back.” Aim for consistent, precise terms such as “number of jobs” or “employment,” and check plural forms and commonly confused words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including contrast clauses with “whereas” and time sequences with “increasing from…to…then…”. The meaning is generally clear, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “it rise” should be “it rose,” “healthcare show” should be “healthcare showed,” and “its job fell” needs a plural subject such as “the number of jobs fell.” The sentence beginning “While, retail…” is also an incomplete or awkwardly attached clause, and “manufacturing in contrast” needs clearer punctuation around the contrast phrase. Review past-tense consistency and sentence boundaries, especially when using “while,” to improve accuracy while retaining your range of structures.

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