Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates the variation in the number of jobs in different four areas of the economy over the years in the US.

Overall, it is clear that there is a major shift in the job sector of manufacturing and retail , and also a change in the other two areas.

The graph depicts the variation in the economy sector between the years 1960 and 2020. Firstly, in 1960 15 million jobs were availaible in the manufacturing department which soared to 20 million in the year 1980, but declined to 16 million in 2000, and then dramatically fell to 13 million in the year 2020. Both the retail and healthcare sectors were at 5 million economy in the year 1960. The retail had a staright increase to 15 million in 2000 and again rose to 15 million in 2020 while the healthcare department shranked drastically below 5 million in 1980 and remained constant in 2000 and then again decreased to 1 million in 2020. The agriculture sector peaked from 1 million to 10 million over the years 1960 and 2000 and had a remarkable increase to 16 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response attempts to describe all four sectors and includes an overview, but the account is substantially inaccurate, which limits how well it fulfils the task. Several key figures and trends are reversed or misreported: agriculture falls from about 6 million to 2 million, rather than rising to 16 million, while healthcare rises from about 2 million to 16 million, rather than declining. Retail starts at about 6 million and reaches 16 million in 2020, not 5 million and 15 million. The overview’s reference to a “major shift” is too general to identify the main pattern clearly. Focus on the broad contrasts—manufacturing peaks and then declines, retail and healthcare grow, and agriculture decreases—and check each series against the graph before reporting details.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a brief overview and a detail paragraph. It also uses sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “but,” and “then,” helping the reader follow the timeline. However, the overview is vague, and the final paragraph combines several sectors in a way that makes comparisons difficult to track. The repeated opening idea about “variation” adds little progression, while long sentences containing multiple dates and changes become hard to follow. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together, with one clear comparison in each paragraph, would create a more logical progression. Use linking expressions to show contrasts and stages, rather than relying mainly on chronological connectors.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

There is some useful range for describing change, including “soared,” “declined,” “dramatically fell,” and “remained constant.” These choices show an attempt to vary trend language. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “5 million economy,” “manufacturing department,” and “peaked from 1 million to 10 million.” “Peaked” is also unsuitable for a steady increase that does not describe a peak. Spelling errors such as “availaible,” “staright,” and “shranked” reduce accuracy. Aim for standard chart vocabulary and precise sector labels, for example, “the number of jobs in manufacturing” and “employment in agriculture fell.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response uses both simple statements and longer sentences with clauses, as in “which soared to 20 million … but declined,” so there is some variety in structure. Most of the intended meaning can be understood, but errors recur in longer constructions. For example, “Both the retail and healthcare sectors were at 5 million economy” has an incomplete grammatical pattern, and “the healthcare department shranked” contains an incorrect verb form. The sentence beginning “The retail had a staright increase” also has an awkward subject construction and becomes difficult to follow as several changes are joined together. Use complete, parallel clauses and check past-tense forms and sentence boundaries. Shorter sentences would help maintain control while reporting several figures.

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