Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph depicts the number of jobs, in millions, in the four sectors in the US, over a 60-year period.

Overall, the number of jobs in retail and healthcare sector increased significantly. In contrast, job employment in manufacturing and agriculture sector dropped but varied.

To began with the most dominating sector in 1960, manufacturing sector, accounted for 15 million jobs in 1980. After 1980, the number of jobs in manufacturing sector declined till 2020, 17 and 13 million jobs in 2000 and 2020 respectively. Retailing sector experienced increasing trend throughout the time period. Recorded 6 million jobs in 1960 to 16 million jobs in 2020.

Number of jobs in agricultural sector dipped slighty during the time period, 6 million jobs in 1960 to 3 million jobs in 1980 and 2000 and only 2 million jobs in 2020. Employment opportunities in healthcare sector grew dramatically throughout the time period. Healthcare started from much lower baseline, at 2 millions. Then in the 1980 was at 5 million jobs. Recorded 11 million jobs in 2000 and was at its peak point in 2020, accounted for 16 million jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover all four sectors and give a clear overview of the broad trends: retail and healthcare rise, while agriculture falls and manufacturing declines after its peak. Several figures are accurately reported, including agriculture’s fall from 6 to 2 million and healthcare’s rise from 2 to 16 million. However, the manufacturing account contains a significant omission: it says the sector “accounted for 15 million jobs in 1980,” whereas 15 million is the 1960 figure and the 1980 peak is 20 million. The overview also says manufacturing dropped, but does not identify its initial rise. To make the report more complete, state the key turning points and compare the sectors at the end, when retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction and overview are followed by details about manufacturing and retail, then agriculture and healthcare. This grouping makes the main trends easy to follow, and time markers such as “After 1980” and “throughout the time period” help establish sequence. Some connections are less smooth, however. Several sentences begin as fragments, including “Recorded 6 million jobs in 1960 to 16 million jobs in 2020” and “Then in the 1980 was at 5 million jobs,” so the links between ideas are not always clear. The overview’s “dropped but varied” is also vague. Use complete sentences and clearer comparisons to create more consistently logical progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of task-related vocabulary, including “declined,” “increasing trend,” “dipped,” “baseline,” and “peak point,” and the meaning is generally clear. There are some inaccurate or unnatural choices that limit precision: “job employment” is redundant, “most dominating” is awkward, and “accounted for” is used where a simpler verb such as “reached” would fit the figures better. “Retailing sector” is understandable but less natural than “retail sector,” while “dipped slighty” contains a spelling error and an imprecise adverb form. Aim for accurate, natural collocations rather than adding elaborate wording; this will make comparisons sound more fluent and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more developed sentence forms, and the overall meaning remains understandable. Some grammatical errors occur, particularly in verb forms, articles, and sentence completeness. For example, “To began” should be “To begin,” and “In the 1980 was at 5 million jobs” lacks a clear subject and has an incorrect time expression. “Recorded 6 million jobs…” and “Recorded 11 million jobs…” are also sentence fragments because they have no subject. There are agreement and article issues in “the retail and healthcare sector” and “manufacturing and agriculture sector,” and “2 millions” should be “2 million.” Build complete clauses with explicit subjects, and check singular/plural forms and articles when describing each sector.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.