Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph describes the information about the number of employments in four sectors of the economy in the US between year 1960 till 2020

The data is started from year 1960 where number of jobs for healthcare were around 2 million more or less.till year 1980 there was a moderate growth and the number of jobs were about 5 millions till year 2020 the trend rose up steadily and the number of employments were approximately 11 million, finally in till year 2020 the trend reach its peak which was around 16 million jobs in healthcare. For retail in year 1960 the number of jobs were around 5 million till year 1980 there was a moderate growth and the number of jobs for retail was around 10 milllion, afterwards the gowth was followed by the same pace and in year 2000 the numbers were around 15 million. Finally in year 2020 the number of employments for retail were around 16 million more or less.

The sector of Manufacturing started from 15 million jobs in year 1960 the numbers were significantly increased till 1980 and it reached upto its highest peak which was around 20 million employments, then there was a decrease in number of jobs for manufacturing department and around 17 million more or less jobs were provided,lastly in year 2020 the number of employments were around 13 million. Moreover for agriculture in year 1960 around 6 million jobs were produced, then the numbers started to decrease in year 1980 it the number was around 3 million more or less in 2000 there was no growth to be noted, finally in year 2020 it reached its lowest point which was around 2 million jobs for agriculture.

overall, the numbers of jobs for healthcare and retail grew to the highest points. However for numbers of employment for agricultre and manifacturing reached its lowest point with no growth at all

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover all four sectors and report the main movements, including manufacturing’s rise to about 20 million before declining, and agriculture’s overall fall. You also identify the strong growth in healthcare and retail. However, the overview is not fully accurate: healthcare and retail finish at joint highs of around 16 million, while manufacturing declines but does not reach its lowest point in 2020; its lowest shown value is in 1960. The claim that manufacturing and agriculture both reached their lowest points is therefore misleading. Some details are also unclear, such as “the growth was followed by the same pace” for retail. A more precise overview comparing the final rankings and contrasting rising with declining sectors would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response is arranged in a generally understandable order: healthcare and retail are described first, followed by manufacturing and agriculture, with a concluding overview. This gives the reader a coherent route through the data. However, the first two sectors are combined in one long paragraph, and several sentences run together, making comparisons harder to follow. Linking expressions such as “finally,” “then,” and “moreover” are used repeatedly and sometimes mechanically; the final “overall” statement also repeats earlier information while introducing an inaccurate comparison. Use clearer paragraphing, shorter sentences, and more direct links between contrasting trends—for example, compare the two growing sectors in one paragraph and the declining sectors in another.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “moderate growth,” “decrease,” “peak,” and “lowest point,” so the main patterns are usually understandable. However, the range is limited by repeated use of “number of jobs,” “employments,” and “around,” and several choices are unnatural or imprecise. “Number of employments” is not the usual expression for this chart, while “the data is started” and “growth was followed by the same pace” do not convey the intended meaning naturally. There are also spelling errors, including “milllion,” “agricultre,” and “manifacturing.” Build a more accurate set of trend phrases and check spelling, while avoiding repeated wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, and the sequence of years and figures is generally understandable. However, some sentence structures are faulty or incomplete, and punctuation errors make several long sentences difficult to read. For example, “The data is started from year 1960 where…” has an incorrect passive construction, while “in 2000 there was no growth to be noted” needs clearer sentence boundaries and punctuation. There are also recurring problems with articles, agreement, and verb forms, as in “the numbers were significantly increased” and “the trend reach its peak.” Use straightforward past-tense reporting structures, check subject–verb agreement, and separate each year’s change into a complete sentence. More accurate control of these patterns would make your varied sentences clearer.

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