Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The supplied line graph depicts number of people employed in four economic sectors varied from the year 1960 to 2020.The data is calibrated in number of people

Overall,it is quite evident that retail and healthcare recorded the highest figure, whereas agriculture had the lowest figure over the period shown.It is also apparent that manufacturing experienced the most pronounced decrease.

It is evident from the graph that in 1960, manufacturing was the largest employer, with approximately 15 million jobs.This figure rose to 20 million in 1980, before falling to 17million in 2000 and then declining further to 13 million in 2020.A closer examination of the data reveals that retail employment increased steadily from around 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980.It continue to grow 15 million in 2000 and approximately 16 million in 2020, making it one of the largest employment sector.

The graph clearly indicates that health experienced the most significant overall growth.S

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify several important features accurately: manufacturing starts highest, rises to about 20 million, then declines, while retail grows from roughly 6 to 16 million. The overview also notes agriculture as the smallest sector and manufacturing’s decline. However, the account is incomplete: healthcare is introduced as having the strongest overall growth, but the final sentence is cut off, and its figures and comparison with retail are not reported. The overview’s claim that retail and healthcare recorded the highest figure is also imprecise, since manufacturing led initially and retail and healthcare only reached similar levels by 2020. Cover all four series and clarify the changing rankings to make the summary more complete and precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about manufacturing and retail. Phrases such as “Overall” and “A closer examination” help signal these stages, and the two developed series are presented in chronological order. However, the progression is incomplete because healthcare is only mentioned in a final fragment, while agriculture receives no supporting detail after being identified in the overview. Some linking is also repetitive, particularly the repeated openings “It is evident” and “The graph clearly indicates.” Organise the body into balanced comparisons—for example, manufacturing with retail, then healthcare with agriculture—and use clear transitions to connect their contrasting trends.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of task-related vocabulary, including “largest employer,” “increased steadily,” “declining further,” and “most pronounced decrease.” These expressions communicate the main trends, and “approximately” and “around” help signal estimated figures. Some choices are imprecise or unnatural, however: “the data is calibrated in number of people” does not clearly describe the unit, and “one of the largest employment sector” has an awkward collocation and form. “Retail and healthcare recorded the highest figure” is also too broad for the changing rankings shown. Aim for precise chart language such as “the figures are given in millions of jobs” and “among the largest sectors,” while varying repeated phrases like “the graph indicates.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including the contrast in “rose to 20 million … before falling … and then declining further,” and most of the meaning remains clear. Some grammatical errors are present. The opening needs an article and clearer verb structure (“depicts the number …, which varied”), while “It continue to grow 15 million” has an incorrect verb form and is missing “to” before the figure. There are also missing spaces after full stops and commas, and the final “S” leaves the last sentence incomplete. Check subject–verb agreement, use “continued,” and proofread punctuation and sentence endings. More consistently accurate complex sentences would strengthen control.

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