Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given line graph illustrates about the number of jobs occupied by the United Sates's four sectors economy between 1960 and 2020.

At a fleeting glance, in a Manufacturing sector there was almost 15% jobs was recorded in 1960. After 20 years jobs in manufacturing sector was displayed at its peak 20%. But in upcoming 40 years it was determined rapidly falling from 20% to around 15%. In a Retail sector 5% of jobs was discovered in 1960 which had contributed sharp growth until 2000 at 15% than grows slowly about 1-2% up to 2020.

Moving ahead, the Agriculture sector had the less number of jobs than other sectors starting from 5% similar as retail sector and ending with about 2% in the 2020. The Healthcare sector had started with 3% and contributed tremendous spike in number of jobs at 15% in 2020 similar to retail sector jobs and these two sectors achieved more growth in the end of 2020 than other sectors.

Overall, it is crystal clear that the Retail and Healthcare sector jobs had contributed more growth than other sectors but the Agriculture sector was on declining only.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You cover all four sectors and identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing peaks before declining, retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture falls. The overview also notes that agriculture is the only declining sector. These are relevant features, and most figures are close to the chart. However, some comparisons are imprecise: manufacturing falls to about 13 million, not around 15, and retail rises from about 6 million rather than 5. The claim that retail and healthcare “achieved more growth” is also unclear because it does not distinguish their final levels from the amount of growth. To strengthen the response, report jobs in millions consistently and make the key comparison explicit: retail and healthcare both finish at about 16 million, while manufacturing ends lower and agriculture remains smallest.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement, with an introduction, two paragraphs describing groups of sectors, and a concluding overview. The sequence from manufacturing and retail to agriculture and healthcare is easy to follow, and linking phrases such as “Moving ahead” help signal progression. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. For example, “than grows slowly” does not clearly show how the retail trend continues, and the final sentence repeats the overview without adding a precise comparison. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together could make the organisation more purposeful. Use straightforward links such as “By contrast” and “Meanwhile,” and ensure each comparison clearly refers to the correct sector and time period.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of trend vocabulary, including “peak,” “sharp growth,” “declining,” and “spike,” so the main movements can generally be understood. However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a graph: “jobs occupied,” “was discovered,” “contributed tremendous spike,” and “at a fleeting glance.” Repeated use of “sector” and “jobs” also limits precision, while the percentage sign is inappropriate because the chart reports numbers of jobs in millions. Aim for conventional, precise collocations such as “the number of jobs rose” and “employment fell.” This would make your descriptions more natural and help distinguish a rise in job numbers from a percentage change.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including comparisons across years, and the reader can usually follow the intended trends. However, errors in sentence structure and agreement are frequent enough to make several statements awkward or difficult to interpret. For example, “there was almost 15% jobs was recorded” combines incompatible structures, while “jobs in manufacturing sector was displayed” has agreement and article problems. The sentence “which had contributed sharp growth until 2000 at 15% than grows slowly” also shifts verb forms and does not form a clear comparison. Practise building accurate patterns such as “The number of jobs in manufacturing reached 20 million in 1980, then fell.” Check articles, subject–verb agreement, and consistent past-tense verbs.

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