Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The bar graph illustrates the numbers of jobs in four diffrent sectors in the US economy from 1960 to 2020.

In the starting year 1960 manufacturing job sector is highest with 15 millons jobs as compare to retail , agriculture and healthcare which was below the 6 millons. Furthermore, in 1980 it was showed steady increase in manufacture , retail and healtcare sector which showed 5 millons increase in each sector, but in agriculture sector it was decreased from around 6 millons to around 3 millons.

I next year 2000, in agriculture sector it was stable at same number, but sharpely rise in healthcare and retail sector it was almost 5 millons increase. Apart from this, in manufacturing sectory economy showed steady down from 20 millons to around 15 millons. Nextely, in 2020 retail and healthcare was at same rate at more than 15 millons, but in other two sectors manufacturing was at near by 13 millons and agriculture sector was at below than 5 millons.

To conclude, in retail and healthcare sectore it was increased every year, but in other two sectors it was't rise in the end.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall patterns: manufacturing rises to a peak before declining, agriculture falls, and retail and healthcare grow. Several comparisons are relevant, including the similar final figures for retail and healthcare. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear. In 1960, retail and agriculture were about 6 million, not below 6 million, and healthcare was about 2 million. By 2000, manufacturing was about 17 million rather than 15 million; it then fell to about 13 million in 2020. The conclusion that retail and healthcare increased “every year” is too broad for the four-year points shown, and the overview could more clearly identify manufacturing as the highest sector in 1980 and the convergence of retail and healthcare by 2020. More precise reporting would strengthen coverage.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: it moves through the years in sequence, uses separate paragraphs for the main periods, and ends with a summary. Connectors such as “Furthermore,” “Apart from this,” and “To conclude” help signal relationships, so the progression is generally easy to follow. This is a solid foundation, with some evidence of flexible organisation. However, a few transitions are awkward or unclear, particularly “I next year 2000,” and the repeated year-by-year structure sometimes makes the comparisons feel like a list rather than a connected account of the four trends. Grouping the rising sectors together and contrasting them with manufacturing and agriculture would create smoother progression. Ensure each paragraph begins with a clear time reference or comparison.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “steady increase,” “stable,” “rise,” and “down,” and the reader can generally understand the intended comparisons. There is some range beyond basic descriptions, but word choice and spelling are often inaccurate, which limits precision. Examples include “diffrent,” “millons,” “sharpely,” and “sectory”; these errors are noticeable in a report about numerical data. Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “at same rate” and “was at near by 13 millons.” Use standard forms such as “million” and more precise collocations like “stood at” or “declined to.” Avoid repeating “sector” when a clear pronoun or the sector name would make the sentence more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including clauses linked with “which” and “but,” and the main trends are usually understandable. However, control of sentence structure and verb forms is inconsistent. For example, “manufacturing job sector is highest” needs a past-tense construction, while “it was showed steady increase” combines an incorrect passive form with a missing article. In “in agriculture sector it was stable,” the sentence structure is awkward, and “retail and healthcare was” has a subject–verb agreement error. Articles and prepositions are also often missing, as in “in 1980” and “in the agriculture sector.” Build accurate past-tense sentences first, then add complex clauses; check agreement and articles during revision.

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