Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the data on the jobs in fout different sectors Manufacturing, retail, agirculture and healthcare in US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, Manufacturing had the most jobs in the start of the period but in the recent time it went downwards. Retial and healthcare goes hand to hand with sharp upward tend. While, Agriculture still at the lowest in the job market.

In 1960, Manufactring was among the most populler profession of individuals as 15 milllions was doing it. However. it went around 11 million in 2020. Intrestingly, Retail and Health care are not at the same rate of jobs in 2020 at approximately 16 millions. But in 1960, Healthcare was at the lowest amoung all the job at around 2 millions. While, Retails was at around 6 million in 1960.

Conversely, Agriculture was at approximately 6 million in 1960 but took sharp downward trend and now amoung the least populler job amoung the people at around 2 millions doing it in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall patterns: manufacturing starts as the largest sector and declines, while agriculture remains the smallest by the end. You also include relevant comparisons, such as retail and healthcare both reaching about 16 million jobs in 2020. This covers the task well, and the overview shows some selection of key features. However, the manufacturing figure for 2020 is reported as around 11 million rather than approximately 13 million, and the substantial rise in healthcare from 2 to 16 million is not clearly traced. The claim that retail and healthcare “go hand to hand” is also imprecise because their paths differ considerably. More accurate figures and a clearer account of the contrasting trends would make the summary more complete and precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear four-paragraph structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about the sectors. The reader can generally follow the comparisons, and transitions such as “Overall,” “However,” and “Conversely” help signal relationships. Some links are less effective or unclear: “Retail and healthcare goes hand to hand” does not explain the relationship accurately, while repeated use of “While” creates awkward connections between ideas. The final paragraph repeats the agriculture trend already mentioned in the overview without adding much comparison. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together, with clearer links between their figures, would create stronger progression and less repetition.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “upward trend,” “downward trend,” and “approximately,” so the topic is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, such as “go hand to hand,” “most popular profession,” and “job market” for describing sector employment. Spelling errors are also noticeable, including “fout,” “agirculture,” “Manufactring,” and “populler.” These errors sometimes make the reader pause, even though the intended meaning is usually recoverable. Aim for precise chart language and check spelling carefully; terms such as “employment,” “rose,” “declined,” and “sector” will help you report the data more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including contrast clauses beginning with “However” and “While.” Nevertheless, grammatical control is inconsistent, and several errors affect clarity. For example, “Retail and healthcare goes” has a subject–verb agreement error, and “Agriculture still at the lowest” is missing a verb. The phrase “15 millions was doing it” has problems with number agreement and sentence construction, while “in the recent time” uses an awkward grammatical pattern. Punctuation is also faulty in “However.”, where a comma is needed rather than a full stop. Practise accurate present and past forms, agreement, and complete clauses before adding more complex structures.

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