Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, retail and health care have most amount of jobs while agriculture remained the lowest of all in terms of jobs.

Firstly, manufacturing had 15 million jobs in 1960 which raised to 20 million in 1980. Moreover, it gradually decreased to 13 million nearly in 2020. Market that incresed the ratio of jobs continuously was healthcare. It started from nearly 2 million jobs in 1960 and gradually increased to 11 million in 2000 while it constantly rose to nearly 16 million jobs in 2020.

Conversely, retail and agriculture were providing same number of jobs in 1960 whereas retail sector grew to 16 million jobs in 2020 and agriculture sector experianced a decrease in jobs which was nearly 2 million jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing rises before declining, healthcare and retail grow, and agriculture remains the smallest sector. Several figures are also reported accurately, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million and healthcare’s rise to about 16 million. However, the overview says retail and healthcare had the most jobs overall, which is imprecise: manufacturing led in 1960 and 1980, while retail and healthcare reached about 16 million by 2020. The account also omits useful comparisons at intermediate points, such as retail overtaking manufacturing by 2000. The response is 126 words, below the 150-word minimum; the 19 words copied from the prompt are excluded. Develop the overview and comparisons more fully, using the available space to cover the key changes across the period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing trends. Sequencing words such as “Overall,” “Firstly,” and “Conversely” help signal the organisation. However, the progression is not always clear because the final paragraph groups retail and agriculture together without explaining their contrasting directions, and “Conversely” does not clearly connect to the preceding discussion. The phrase “Market that incresed the ratio of jobs continuously was healthcare” also interrupts the flow and makes the relationship between ideas difficult to follow. Use clearer topic sentences and organise the details by trend or by time period, with comparisons stated directly. This would make the progression more coherent and reduce reliance on basic linking words.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “gradually decreased,” “increased,” and “remained the lowest,” so the main information is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and some choices are inaccurate or unnatural for chart description. “Raised to 20 million” is not the usual collocation for a figure, while “ratio of jobs” does not express the intended idea of a number or level. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “incresed” and “experianced,” and “most amount of jobs” is awkward. Aim for precise terms such as “number,” “figure,” “rose,” and “fell,” and check spelling carefully. More varied but accurate trend vocabulary would help you describe comparisons without repeating “jobs” and “increased.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a relative clause in “agriculture sector … which was nearly 2 million jobs in 2020” and a time clause with “while.” Most of the intended meaning can be understood, but errors in sentence construction and grammatical patterns are noticeable. For example, “Overall, retail and health care have most amount of jobs” needs a more complete comparative structure, and “Market that increased … was healthcare” is not a well-formed sentence. The phrase “agriculture sector” also needs an article or plural form. Use a wider range of controlled sentence patterns, and check articles, clause structure, and tense consistency when describing past data. These revisions would make the comparisons easier to read.

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