Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given line chart demonstrates the number of jobs in four different sectors of the US economy between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, A glance at the graphs reveals that, `manufacturing experienced a significant decline after reaching a peak in 1980, while employment in healthcare and retail increased considerably. agriculture showed a downward trend throughout the period.

By analyzing the data, in 1960, manufacturing was the largest employ sector, with approximately 15 million jobs. this figure rose to around 19 million in 1980 before falling steadily to about 10 million in 2020. in contrast, retail employment increased gradually from roughly 5 million in 1960 to 9 million in 1980, reaching around 13 million by the end of the period.

Eventually, regarding the other sectors, healthcare employed around 2 million people in 1960. the figure then increased consistently, reaching about 9 million in 2000 and approximately 14 million in 2020, making it one of the largest sectors. by comparison, agriculture started at around 5 million jobs in 1960 but declined sharply to about 2 million in 1980. it continued to decrease gradually, reaching almost zero by 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You provide a relevant overview, identifying manufacturing’s peak and subsequent decline, growth in healthcare and retail, and agriculture’s downward trend. The main comparisons are also supported with figures. However, several reported values do not match the chart: manufacturing is about 13 million in 2020, not 10 million; retail is about 15 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020, rather than 13 million at the end; healthcare is about 11 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020; and agriculture ends at about 2 million, not almost zero. These inaccuracies weaken the precision of an otherwise clear summary. Include the key crossover, too: healthcare and retail both reach roughly 16 million by 2020, the joint highest level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response is organised into an introduction, an overview and two detail paragraphs, with a generally clear progression from manufacturing and retail to healthcare and agriculture. Linking phrases such as “in contrast” and “by comparison” help signal comparisons, and the reader can follow the broad trends. Some transitions are less natural or overly formulaic, particularly “By analyzing the data” and “Eventually, regarding the other sectors.” The overview also begins with “Overall” followed by an unnecessary capitalised “A glance,” and inconsistent punctuation makes the paragraphing feel less controlled. To strengthen the flow, use direct topic sentences and connect related comparisons, such as the final levels of retail and healthcare.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use a suitable range of trend vocabulary, including “peak,” “decline,” “increased considerably,” “consistently,” and “downward trend.” These choices communicate the main movements and show some flexibility beyond basic terms. There are, however, a few awkward or imprecise expressions: “largest employ sector” is not a natural collocation, and “Eventually, regarding the other sectors” does not clearly introduce the comparison. “Falling steadily” may also suggest a more uniform decline than the chart shows, since manufacturing first falls and then continues downward across the later points. Aim for precise, natural phrasing and choose verbs that reflect the actual pattern, such as “fell after 1980” or “declined overall.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including the contrast clause “while employment in healthcare and retail increased considerably” and the participial phrase “making it one of the largest sectors.” Most sentences remain understandable, but some grammatical and punctuation errors reduce accuracy. Several sentences begin with lowercase letters after full stops (“this figure,” “in contrast,” and “the figure”), and the overview has an awkward sentence boundary after “Overall.” The phrase “manufacturing was the largest employ sector” also contains a word-form problem. Check sentence openings and punctuation carefully, and review noun forms and articles when editing. More consistently accurate complex sentences would make the report easier to read.

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