Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given line chart represents the count of jobs in four different sectors regarding economy of US in the time period of 1960 and 2020. The data has calibrated into numbers.

Overall, it is crystal clear that health and retail follows the upward trend whereas manufacturing and agriculture experience the downward trend.

At the fleeting glance, agriculture is amounted as 2.5 millions jobs in the begnining of the period and the value is on the verge of increasing . Moreover the data shows that this value is peaked in the last year which is recorded as just above the 15 million. Furthermore, the employement rate in reatil is 5 million in the year of 1960 and went up on 15 millions after 4 decades . Additionally, from 2000 to 2020 the data experience a marginal increase .

Moving ahead, agriculture job prefrences is at 5 million in 1950 . Moreover, the value is pleateaued at approximately 3 million after the the decline from 5 million to 3 miilion and it follows the same trend upto the ending of the period . Similarly, the value increase significantly from the starting of the graph and peaked at 20 million jobs in 1980 . Then, the value halved and reached at 13 million after the intersection with healthcare at 14moolion jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies several broad movements, including growth in retail and healthcare and a peak in manufacturing, but important features are repeatedly misreported. Agriculture began at about 6 million jobs, not 2.5 million, and declined to around 2 million; it did not peak above 15 million. Retail started at about 6 million, rather than 5 million, and rose to 16 million. The overview also incorrectly says manufacturing declined throughout, although it first climbed to 20 million in 1980. The account of healthcare is especially limited: its strong rise to about 16 million and its tie with retail by 2020 are not accurately explained. To improve, check each series against the chart and give a concise, accurate overview of the main contrasts.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the report into an introduction, an overview and two detail paragraphs, and linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “Furthermore” and “Moving ahead” show an effort to connect points. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the sectors are not consistently identified: the paragraph beginning “At the fleeting glance” starts with agriculture but then shifts to retail, while the final paragraph discusses agriculture and manufacturing without a clear transition. Some connectors are repetitive or do not clarify the relationship between ideas. Organise the details by sector or by contrasting trends, and use topic sentences and clear references so readers can follow which line each figure describes.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some task-related vocabulary, including “upward trend,” “marginal increase,” “decline” and “peaked,” and attempts less common expressions. However, the range is limited by awkward or inaccurate choices such as “the data has calibrated,” “agriculture job preferences,” and “at the fleeting glance.” Several spelling errors, including “begnining,” “employement” and “miilion,” also make the report less clear. Some phrases sound overly emphatic or unnatural for an objective chart summary, such as “it is crystal clear.” Use precise, conventional terms for employment figures and trends, and check spelling and collocations. This would make the meaning easier to understand without requiring more elaborate vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and longer sentence forms, using clauses introduced by “whereas,” “Moreover” and “Then.” However, complex sentences are often not controlled accurately, and errors occur frequently enough to make some relationships unclear. For example, “health and retail follows” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “the value is peaked” uses an incorrect verb form. There are also problems with articles, plurals and sentence construction in phrases such as “5 million jobs in 1950” and “the value is pleateaued.” Punctuation spacing is inconsistent, and some sentences run together several claims. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and agreement, and keep sentences shorter when describing multiple data points.

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