Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line chart show the relationship between the number of jobs in US over the time from 1960 to 2020, across different sectors, particularly, manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare. It can be verified that that agriculture is the only sector that shows a downward trend, whereas the rest are either showing a increasing trend or fluctuates between the two.

Healthcare is the sector which booms poistively and always hire more taskforce. It is logically evident, as increasing population over the decades need the increment of pople in healthcare sector. In 1960, retail and agriculture sector both seats at the same level around 6 miilion, and from there agriculture gets downfall in hiring people seats at 3 million in 2020, whereas retail gets a boom and increased rapidly which seats at more than 15 miillion in 2020.

Manfuactring has the highest number of jobs in 1960 compared to other sectors till 2000, but afterwards it show a decline and reached at 12 million in 2020, because of the advancement of technology which replace humans by machines.

In conclusion, healthcare and retails are the two safe sector which shows postivie increment with time, in contrast to agriculture and manufacturing sectors.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the four sectors and give a clear overall contrast: agriculture declines, while the other sectors rise or fluctuate. You also select relevant comparisons, including manufacturing’s early lead and the similar starting figures for retail and agriculture. This covers the main task features, with some detail supporting them. However, parts of the account are imprecise: agriculture falls to about 2 million, not 3 million, in 2020, and manufacturing ends at about 13 million rather than 12 million. The overview also misses the important convergence at the end, when retail and healthcare are both around 16 million. The explanation about population growth and technology is speculative and not shown by the graph. More accurate figures and a fuller overview would strengthen the report.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to sector details and a concluding summary. Paragraphing helps separate the main points, and phrases such as “whereas” and “In conclusion” signal contrast and closure. The progression is generally understandable, but some links are mechanical or unclear. For example, “from there agriculture gets downfall … whereas retail gets a boom” combines two trends in an awkward sentence, and the healthcare paragraph shifts to an unsupported explanation about population before returning to chart data. The final sentence repeats the overview rather than adding a useful comparison. Grouping the sectors by trend and using clearer references between sentences would make the progression more controlled.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “downward trend,” “decline,” “increased,” and “highest number of jobs,” so the main trends are usually identifiable. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or informal, which limits precision: “booms positively,” “hire more taskforce,” “gets a boom,” and “safe sector” do not describe the data naturally. There are also noticeable spelling errors, such as “poistively,” “miilion,” “Manfuactring,” and “postivie.” These errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the broad message, but they reduce clarity and control. Aim for standard trend language and check spelling carefully, especially for key sector names and figures.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast clause with “whereas” and a relative clause beginning “which shows.” The overall meaning is generally recoverable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “The line chart show” needs subject–verb agreement, and “the rest are either showing a increasing trend or fluctuates” has problems with article use and parallel verb forms. In “agriculture … seats at 3 million,” the sentence structure and verb form are also faulty; “manufacturing … it show a decline” has another agreement error. These issues sometimes make sentences awkward, although they rarely obscure the intended trend. Review agreement, articles, and parallel structures, then proofread each sentence.

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