Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given line graph depicts the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

To begin with, in 1960 the number of jobs in the manufacturing sector was at 15 million, but, it slightly rose in 1980 to 20 million. Furthermore, the number of jobs in the manufacturing sector slightly fell in 2000 and 2020 at 17 and 12 million. There were 6 million jobs in the retail sector in 1960 but in 1980 and 2000 it rapidly grew to 10 and 15 million. In 2020 the number of jobs in the retail sector remained stabled at 15 million.

Moreover, in the agriculture field there were 6 million jobs in 1960. However, it was slightly decreased in the upcoming three years to 3 million. The number of jobs in the healthcare sector was at 2 million in 1960 but in 1980 it was slightly rose to 5 million. In 2000 and 2020 the number of jobs in the healthcare field was increased to 11 and 15 million.

Overall, there are most of jobs in retail and healthcare field in US.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You report several key figures accurately, including manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and the growth in healthcare from 2 million to 11 million by 2000. However, the account is only partial because it does not clearly summarise the main overall patterns or compare the sectors at the end of the period. The overview, “there are most of jobs in retail and healthcare,” is unclear and misses that both sectors reach about 16 million in 2020, while agriculture declines to the lowest level. There are also inaccuracies: retail is about 16 million, not 15, in 2020; agriculture falls to 3 million by 1980, not over “three years”; and healthcare reaches about 16 million in 2020, not 15. Select the main trends and make the final comparison precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic, understandable structure: an introduction, paragraphs describing the sectors, and a concluding overview. Sequencing by year generally helps the reader follow the figures, and transitions such as “Furthermore,” “Moreover,” and “However” signal relationships. However, progression is not fully clear because manufacturing and retail are grouped together, while agriculture and healthcare are combined despite having contrasting trends. Some linking is mechanical, and the conclusion does not effectively synthesise the information. Organise the body around clearer comparisons—for example, rising sectors versus declining sectors—and use references such as “this figure” only when their meaning is unmistakable. A more informative overview would also give the response a stronger logical direction.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing data, including “rose,” “fell,” “grew,” and “remained,” so the reader can understand the general movements. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or repetitive. “Slightly rose” and “slightly fell” do not describe the substantial changes from 15 to 20 million and from 20 to 13 million particularly well. “Remained stabled” is not a natural expression, and “agriculture field” and “healthcare field” are less suitable than naming these as sectors. The phrase “there are most of jobs” is also unclear. Use precise trend language and vary expressions such as “increased,” “declined,” and “stood at,” while checking that each phrase fits the size and direction of the change.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You produce several connected sentences and use some contrast and time clauses, as in “There were 6 million jobs in the retail sector in 1960 but in 1980 and 2000 it rapidly grew…”. The main information is usually understandable, but control of verb forms and sentence construction is inconsistent. Examples include “it slightly rose” and “it was slightly rose,” where the verb pattern is incorrect, and “it was slightly decreased,” which uses an unnecessary passive form. The final sentence, “there are most of jobs,” also has faulty structure. Tense use shifts between past reporting and “there are,” although the graph covers a completed period. Practise accurate past-tense forms such as “rose,” “fell,” and “increased,” and check articles and sentence patterns when comparing figures.

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