Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The line graph illustrate the information about job in US from 1960 to 2020. In the subsequent graph the X- axis shows the information of years moreover, Y-axis shows the value of jobs in millions. Peoples have different taste about jobs. They earn money from different ways, so manufacturing's one of them. In 1950 manufacturing jobs counted in the list of 15 millions yet, this work way increase 5 percent in 1980 and decrease 3 percent in 2000. In 2020 manufacturing 4 percent decrease. Furthermore, people take less interest in manufacturing. On the one hand, retail job counted 5 million in the lowest job list in 1960. Although, retail increase year by year. In 1980 5 millions people take interest in this job. in 2000 5 million more increase or 1 million more increase this job in 2020.

Agriculture job take a higher place in society. people take a lot of interest in agriculture jobs. This job increase 2 million to 16 million in 2020.

Health care is on 6 million people take interest medical care in 1960 but this feature decrease day by day and got lower level in 2020. Retail jobs and agriculture got expensive place in job market although, health care got lower place in job industry.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response attempts to describe all four sectors, but it does not give a reliable summary of the graph’s main features. Several figures and trends are substantially misreported: manufacturing starts at 15 million in 1960, not 1950, and falls from 20 million in 1980 to 13 million in 2020; agriculture declines from 6 to 2 million rather than rising to 16 million; healthcare rises from 2 to 16 million rather than decreasing. Retail’s broad rise is recognised, but its figures are unclear. There is no accurate overview of the key changes or comparison between sectors, and comments about people’s interests and jobs becoming “expensive” are unsupported. Focus on the graph’s data and state the overall trends before selecting a few accurate comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is some basic organisation: the response moves through manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare, and uses connectors such as “Furthermore” and “On the one hand.” However, the progression is difficult to follow because the opening includes general comments about people’s tastes, and the final comparison does not clearly relate to the data. Some linking words are used inaccurately or mechanically, as in “Although, retail increase year by year,” while the long retail sentence combines several figures without making their relationship clear. Paragraphing separates some sectors, but the response would be easier to follow with a concise introduction, a clear overview, and body paragraphs grouping the rising and falling trends. Use references and transitions to show comparisons rather than simply listing sectors.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses a basic range of topic-related vocabulary, including “manufacturing,” “retail,” “agriculture,” “health care,” and “decrease.” Some choices, however, are repetitive or imprecise for describing a graph. Phrases such as “people take interest in this job,” “higher place in society,” and “got expensive place in job market” do not clearly express changes in employment numbers; “expensive” is especially unsuitable here. “Work way” and “job industry” are also awkward collocations. These choices sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to identify, particularly in the agriculture and closing statements. Build a more precise set of trend expressions—such as “employment rose,” “the figure declined,” and “remained stable”—and use them to report data rather than speculate about public preferences.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both simple and more extended sentences, but control is inconsistent, and errors often make relationships between figures unclear. For example, “The line graph illustrate” has subject–verb disagreement, while “In 1980 5 millions people take interest” has problems with tense, plural form and sentence punctuation. The sentence beginning “in 2000 5 million more increase” is not grammatically complete or clear. Articles and sentence boundaries are also unreliable, as in “Agriculture job take a higher place in society. people take…” Capitalisation after full stops and commas needs attention. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and straightforward comparative structures first; then combine clauses with connectors only when the grammatical relationship is clear.

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