Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph provides information about employments in four sectors of the economy,namely manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, number of employments in retail and healthcare increased considerably throughout the period, whereas various jobs in manufacturing and agriculture declined from 1960 to 2020.Furthermore, healthcare and retail had equal quantity of jobs in 2020.

Manufacturing started from 15 million jobs in 1960, then it significantly increased to 20 million in the year of 1980. From this period numbers started to decline and ended with almost 13 million employments in 2020. Agriculture jobs were decreased over the period, started with about 5.5 millions and later their number remained almost constant from 1980 to 2020.

Employments in retail and healthcare recorded the highest numbers, they started from almost 6 and 3 million jobs which later reached to 10 and 5 million respectively in 1980. In the year 2020, they had same quantity of jobs which were almost 15.2 millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall contrast: retail and healthcare rise, while manufacturing and agriculture fall, and you note that retail and healthcare finish at similar levels. The manufacturing figures and its rise to a peak in 1980 are reported accurately. However, some key details are incomplete or imprecise: agriculture is about 6 million in 1960, not 5.5, and its decline to around 2 million by 2020 is not clearly stated. The final retail and healthcare figures are about 16 million each, rather than 15.2 million. The account also gives little detail on the strong growth in healthcare after 1980. More precise endpoint comparisons and a clearer description of each trend would make the summary more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction and overview are followed by paragraphs describing manufacturing and agriculture, then retail and healthcare. This makes the main comparisons easy to locate. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “Furthermore,” and “From this period” help guide the reader, although some connections feel mechanical or are not quite clear. For example, “Employments in retail and healthcare recorded the highest numbers” introduces both series together, but the following details are compressed into one sentence, making their separate trajectories less clear. The reference “their number” in the agriculture sentence is also slightly vague. Use more explicit links between stages and give each sector’s trend a clear progression to improve flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a suitable range of topic vocabulary, including “increased considerably,” “decline,” “remained almost constant,” and “reached,” so the trends are generally understandable. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, especially the repeated use of “employments” and phrases such as “equal quantity of jobs” and “Agriculture jobs were decreased.” “Numbers started to decline” is understandable but could be more precise by naming the number of jobs. These choices show an adequate range, but control is not consistently natural. Prefer standard chart language such as “employment,” “the number of jobs,” “fell,” and “the two sectors had equal employment levels.” This would make the description more concise and idiomatic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and more complex forms, including the overview contrast with “whereas” and the time clauses describing changes after 1980. The main meaning remains clear, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “Overall, number of employments” needs an article, and “Agriculture jobs were decreased” uses an incorrect passive form; write “the number of agricultural jobs decreased.” There are also issues with plural forms and sentence boundaries, as in “6 and 3 million jobs which later reached…” and the comma splice in “Employments in retail and healthcare recorded the highest numbers, they started…”. Check articles, verb forms, and punctuation, and divide long sentences where needed. More accurate control of these patterns would strengthen the response.

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