Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

According to the given graph, it illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. Where the horizontal axis denotes the years and the vertical axis denotes the number of jobs in millions.

Overall, there are 4 sectors denoted: they are manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare.

Here, when it comes to manufacturing and retail sectors, there were 15 million jobs in manufacturing and approximately 6 million jobs in retail in 1960. And the manufacturing sector gradually increased to 20 million jobs in 1980 and started to decrease to around 13 million jobs by 2020. While retail increased to 15 million jobs by 2020.

Considering the two sectors, agriculture and healthcare, there were roughly 6 million jobs in agriculture, while there were 2.5 million jobs in healthcare in 1960. And the number of jobs in healthcare rose up to 15 million in 2020, while the number of jobs in agriculture decreased to approximately 2 million by 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify all four sectors and report several key trends, including manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 before declining, and agriculture falling to about 2 million by 2020. However, the overview mainly lists the sectors rather than summarising the main patterns. Important comparisons are also incomplete: retail reaches about 16 million in 2020, while healthcare rises to a similar level, and retail’s increase is described as reaching 15 million by 2020. The account omits the 2000 figures and gives limited detail on the middle-period changes. Healthcare’s 1960 figure is slightly overstated at 2.5 million rather than about 2 million. The response is 148 words, below the required 150. Add a clear overview and a little more accurate comparison and detail.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic, sensible structure: an introduction, a paragraph grouping manufacturing with retail, and another grouping agriculture with healthcare. This makes the information reasonably easy to follow. However, progression is limited because the overview only names the sectors instead of previewing their contrasting trends. Several sentence openings and links are repetitive, particularly “Here,” “Considering the two sectors,” and repeated use of “And” and “while.” The opening also contains a sentence fragment beginning “Where the horizontal axis…”. To improve cohesion, use a concise overview, connect comparisons directly, and vary linking expressions without forcing them. For example, contrast the declining manufacturing and agriculture trends with the growth in retail and healthcare.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing a line graph, including “increased,” “decrease,” “rose,” and “approximately,” and the sector names are accurate. The range is nevertheless fairly narrow, with repeated use of “number of jobs” and basic trend verbs. Some phrasing is awkward or imprecise, such as “sectors denoted” and “rose up to,” which reduces naturalness. Use more precise alternatives such as “employment,” “stood at,” “climbed,” “declined,” and “reached a peak.” Also distinguish a final value from a trend: “retail increased to 15 million jobs by 2020” is not only slightly inaccurate numerically but could be expressed more clearly as a rise to approximately 16 million. Aim for varied, accurate collocations rather than adding complexity for its own sake.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You communicate the main information using both simple and some more complex sentence forms, including comparisons with “while.” However, sentence control is uneven. “Where the horizontal axis denotes the years…” is a fragment because it does not form a complete sentence; attach it to the preceding sentence or write “The horizontal axis shows the years, while the vertical axis shows jobs in millions.” The construction “Overall, there are 4 sectors denoted: they are…” is also awkwardly formed. Several sentences begin with “And,” and the repeated “there were” pattern limits structural variety. Work on complete sentences, punctuation, and combining related figures into controlled comparative clauses. These changes would make the response smoother while preserving its generally understandable meaning.

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