Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph display the number of jobs in US in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 to 2020.
Overall the paragraph ilustrates the percentage of Maufacturing , Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare if we are looking Healthcare and Retal they increasing with the passage of time moreover Maufacturing and Agriculture descreasing gradualy .
In 1960 to 1980 the Maufacturing jobs fluctuated between 15 million to 20 million after that they declined significantly in 2020 they stands on 13 million .In 1960 to 2020 the Agriculture jobs declined 6 million to 2.5 million jobs.
In Retal 1960 jobs rose from 6 million to 10 million in 1980 and then it take a pump and gose upto 16 million in 2020. After that in 1960 the Healthcare jobs increases gradually from 3 million to 5 million in 1980 after that it rose upto 16 million in 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
You identify the broad pattern that retail and healthcare grew while agriculture declined, and you include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 13 million in 2020. However, the overview is unclear and calls the figures percentages, although the graph measures jobs in millions. Some details are inaccurate or incomplete: manufacturing peaked at 20 million in 1980 before falling to 17 million in 2000, and healthcare began at about 2 million, not 3 million. The retail rise is described vaguely, and the comparison between sectors at the end is not made explicit. The response is also 12 words below the required minimum. Add a clearer overview and report the main turning points and end-point comparisons accurately.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a basic paragraph structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about the sectors. This gives the reader some organisation, and time markers such as “In 1960 to 1980” and “after that” help indicate sequence. However, progression is uneven: the final paragraph shifts from retail to healthcare without a clear transition, and “After that” is used again in a way that makes the relationship between details less precise. The overview sentence is difficult to follow, while the manufacturing and agriculture information is grouped together without a clear comparison. Use one paragraph for the overview and organise the details into clearer groups, with accurate linking phrases and explicit comparisons.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “declined,” “rose,” “gradually,” and “million,” so the main trends can generally be understood. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or informal. “Fluctuated” does not describe manufacturing’s steady rise to 1980, while “take a pump” appears to mean “jump” and is not an appropriate collocation here. Repeated use of “after that” also limits variety. There are noticeable spelling errors, including “Maufacturing,” “Retal,” “descreasing,” and “gradualy,” and “percentage” mislabels the data. Practise accurate trend verbs and standard spellings, and use precise terms such as “number of jobs” rather than “percentage.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including a contrast in the overview and sequences of changes over time. However, grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “The line graph display” has subject–verb disagreement, and “they stands on 13 million” has an incorrect verb form. The phrase “In 1960 to 2020 the Agriculture jobs declined 6 million to 2.5 million jobs” lacks the necessary prepositions and article, and several sentences run together without effective punctuation. Use past-tense forms consistently, check subject–verb agreement, and build comparisons with patterns such as “fell from … to …” and “rose by …”. Shorter, accurately punctuated sentences would improve clarity.
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