Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

THE MULTI LINES CHART ILLUSTARES SOME INFORMATION THE NUMBER OF VACCIENCES IN FOUR DEPARTMENTS OF THE FINANCIAL SYSTEM IN UNITE STATES WITH THE TIME FRAME OF 80 YEAR,S 1960 TO 2020.

THE GIVEN IMAGE SHOWS THE DATA OF DIFFRENT SECTOR JOBS IN UNITED STATES. THE JOBS RELATED TO MANUFACTURING AND OTHERS.

IN THIS MULTI LINES CHART SHOWS THE DATA OF DEFFRIENT YEARS THE TIME FRAME 1960 TO 2020.THE MANUFACTURING JOB START 15MILLION IN 1960.AFTER THAT THE LINE TOUCH THE PEAK POINT.AFTER THAT THE LINE SLIGHT FALL DOWN IN NEXT YEARS.SECONDLY RETAIL STARTING POINT IS OBOVE 5MILLIONS AND SURGE INCREASE IN 1960 TO 2000

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response identifies the chart as concerning jobs in US sectors and mentions manufacturing and retail, but it does not provide a clear overview of the main trends or cover all four sectors. The manufacturing figures are only partly reported: it gives 15 million in 1960 and says the line reaches a peak before falling, but omits the peak value and the later figures. Retail is described as rising, though the account stops at 2000 and gives no clear endpoint. Agriculture and healthcare are not discussed. The opening also misidentifies the chart as showing “vacancies” in a “financial system,” which conflicts with the task. The response is 47 words below the required minimum, leaving the key features substantially incomplete. Add an accurate overview and compare the four sectors using selected figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: the writer introduces the chart, then begins describing manufacturing and retail, using “After that” and “Secondly” to signal sequence. However, the opening repeats the same general point in three separate paragraphs, and the body does not develop into a clear, complete comparison. The final sentence ends abruptly after “1960 to 2000,” so the reader is left without a conclusion to the description or a transition to the other sectors. Some linking is present, but it is mechanical and does not establish a logical progression across the data. Group related trends into paragraphs, avoid repeating the introduction, and use clear comparisons to guide the reader through all four lines.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses a small set of relevant chart terms, including “manufacturing,” “retail,” “peak point,” and “surge increase,” showing an attempt to describe trends. However, inaccurate or misspelled wording often makes the meaning unclear: “vacciens” appears to mean jobs or vacancies, “deffrient” is repeated, and “financial system” is not an appropriate description of the sectors. Phrases such as “the line touch the peak point” and “surge increase” are also unnatural for reporting graph data. Use precise, standard expressions such as “the number of jobs,” “rose steadily,” “reached a peak,” and “declined.” Careful spelling and more accurate collocations would make the limited vocabulary more effective and easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts simple statements and some sequencing, but grammatical control is inconsistent. For example, “the manufacturing job start 15million” lacks an appropriate verb form and article, while “the line touch the peak point” has subject–verb agreement and tense problems. The sentence beginning “In this multi lines chart shows” is not a complete grammatical construction, and “the time frame 1960 to 2020” is missing a linking verb or preposition. Most sentences follow a basic pattern, with little accurate variety in clause structures. Practise forming complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and keep past-tense reporting consistent: for example, “Manufacturing employment stood at 15 million in 1960, then peaked in 1980 before declining.”

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