Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The linear graph represent the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US till 1960 to 2020.

To commence with, it is noticeable that first of all in the manufacturing the jobs at 15 million people jobs in 1960 and after grow up in 1980 at 20 million and then the decrease in 2000 and 2020 at 17 million and 13 million . Moreover, retail employment increase steadily from roughly 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980 and later on climbed to approximately 14 million in 2000 and reached 15 million by the end of period. However, agriculture employed around 6 million people in 1960, but this number fell sharply 2.5 million in 1980 and 2000 and declined to around 2 million in 2020. Finally, healthcare employees in 1960 the figure rose to nearly 5 million in 1980 and 10 million in 2000 and reaching approximately 15 million in 2000.

Overall, manufacturing was the largest employment sector at the beginning of the period, but its figure declined after reaching a peak in 1980. In contrast, retail and healthcare experienced considerable growth.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify several key patterns, including manufacturing’s peak in 1980 followed by decline, and the growth in retail and healthcare. The overview is relevant, but it does not mention agriculture’s sustained fall or that healthcare and retail finish as the joint largest sectors. Some figures are inaccurate: retail is about 15 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020, while healthcare reaches about 11 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020; the response gives lower values and mistakenly places healthcare’s final rise in 2000. Agriculture is about 3 million in both 1980 and 2000, rather than 2.5 million. More accurate reporting and a fuller overview would make the main features clearer.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic, useful structure: an introduction, a paragraph describing the four sectors, and a concluding overview. Sequencing by sector and time helps the reader follow the account, and words such as “Moreover,” “However,” and “Finally” signal transitions. However, the description is largely a list of figures, and the overview comes after the detailed paragraph rather than guiding it. Some linking is mechanical, especially “To commence with” and “first of all” together. The healthcare sentence is difficult to follow because it combines several stages and repeats the year 2000. Grouping the rising sectors and declining sectors, with clearer links between comparisons, would improve progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “employment,” “declined,” “steadily,” “approximately,” and “peak.” These choices help describe changes and comparisons. However, several expressions are inaccurate or awkward, such as “jobs at 15 million people jobs,” “after grow up,” and “healthcare employees,” which reduce precision. “Linear graph” is less suitable than the standard term “line graph,” and “till 1960 to 2020” does not express the period naturally. There is also repetition of basic terms such as “figure” and “million.” Aim for accurate collocations and varied trend language, while ensuring that vocabulary does not obscure the data being reported.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt longer sentences and use some time clauses and contrast, for example, “but this number fell…” and “In contrast, retail and healthcare experienced considerable growth.” However, the longer constructions are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make parts of the account difficult to read. Examples include “The linear graph represent,” “the jobs at 15 million,” and “the figure rose to nearly 5 million in 1980 and 10 million in 2000 and reaching…” The final healthcare sentence also repeats “in 2000,” leaving the timeline unclear. Work on subject–verb agreement, complete sentence structures, and consistent verb forms. Shorter, carefully controlled sentences would improve accuracy before you add more complex patterns.

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