Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the data about the employment rate in four domains of the financials in the US between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the highest job rate was record in manufacturing in 1980 in which 20 million jobs were involved, after that it was declined from 2000 to 2020 by 13million jobs. In contras, the agriculture sector showing the lowest job rate that was start about 6 miilion job in 1960 and end with about two million job over the same period of 1980 to 2020.

Firstly the manufacturing indusrty records the 15 million jobs in 1960 that were sharply increase in 1980 by 20 million jobs, after that it decreased from 1980 to 2020 in US. In contrast the lowest data was record from the agriculture that starts from 6 million and end with 2 million over the year of 1980 t0 2020. In addition the retail and health care departments showing the same increasing trends, and end with about 16 million jobs that were sharply increas from 1960 to 2020 in the US.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980, agriculture declines, and retail and healthcare rise. Several figures are accurate, including manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and agriculture falling from about 6 to 2 million. However, the overview is not fully precise: manufacturing falls from 20 million to 13 million across 1980–2020, rather than declining “from 2000 to 2020 by 13 million.” You also miss the important comparison that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million in 2020, while healthcare rises especially sharply from a much lower starting point. Develop these comparisons more clearly and report the intermediate figures accurately to make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an overview followed by a paragraph describing details, and contrast markers such as “In contrast” help signal relationships. However, progression within the paragraphs is sometimes unclear because several trends are compressed into long sentences. For example, the overview moves from manufacturing to agriculture without clearly separating the time periods, and the final sentence groups retail and healthcare together without explaining how their paths differ. “Firstly” also suggests a sequence that is not continued with “Secondly.” Organise the details by trend—for example, declining sectors and rising sectors—and use clear time references so readers can follow each series. This would make the overall arrangement more coherent and reduce repetitive linking.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “employment,” “sector,” “increased,” “decreased,” and “million jobs,” so the main information is generally understandable. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or repetitive. “Domains of the financials” is not a natural description of these economic sectors, and “job rate” is less precise than “number of jobs” or “employment.” Phrases such as “was record,” “sharply increase,” and “end with” also show limited control of appropriate forms and combinations. Spelling errors, including “miilion,” “indusrty,” and “increas,” further reduce accuracy. Use straightforward, precise terms consistently, and check spelling and word forms when describing rises, falls, peaks, and final figures.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses linked with “after that” and “in which,” but control is uneven. Errors in verb forms and agreement appear in examples such as “was record,” “it was declined,” and “the agriculture sector showing.” There are also problems with articles, plurals, and prepositions, as in “between 1960 to 2020” and “over the year.” Some sentences become difficult to follow because several clauses are joined without clear grammatical structure, particularly the manufacturing sentence beginning “the manufacturing indusrty records.” Aim for accurate past-tense reporting, such as “manufacturing recorded” and “employment declined,” and build complex sentences around one clear main clause. More consistent punctuation would also help separate comparisons.

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