Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the information about oppurtunities in four areas of economy in the US between the period of sixty years from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is clear that manufacturing sector accounted the highest value while the agriculture area showed the lowest value. Additionally, the healthcare sector made a upward trend whlle the manufacturing sector declined after reaching the highest value.

Retail and healthcare sectors made a significant progress and both stood at one that was 16 millions in 2020. Manufacturing and agriculture sectors accounted the downward trend after the year in 1980 and placed at 16 millions and 2 millions respectively.

In 2020, the dominant categories were retail and healthcare while maufacturing ranked second and agriculture got the last position with only 2 millions of jobs. Healthcare sector became the most valuable in terms of number of jobs which were 16 millions and it showed the highest level of progress from just 2 millions to 16 millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You provide a relevant overview by identifying manufacturing as the leading sector initially and agriculture as the smallest, and you note the rise in healthcare alongside manufacturing’s later decline. Several key comparisons are also included, especially the shared 2020 figure of 16 million for retail and healthcare and agriculture’s fall to 2 million. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: manufacturing peaked at 20 million in 1980, not simply at an unspecified “highest value,” and it ended at about 13 million rather than 16 million. Retail rose throughout the period, so describing it alongside manufacturing and agriculture as showing a downward trend after 1980 is incorrect. More precise reporting of the four trajectories would make the summary more complete and reliable.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs giving further details. The ideas are generally relevant, and phrases such as “Overall” and “Additionally” help signal the overview. However, progression is weakened by repetition: the final paragraph repeats the 2020 ranking and healthcare’s rise already mentioned earlier. Connections between trends are sometimes unclear, particularly “Manufacturing and agriculture sectors accounted the downward trend,” which groups them together despite their different patterns and leaves the comparison difficult to follow. Organise the body around contrasting trends—for example, rising sectors versus declining sectors—and use clear references to the relevant years and figures to improve the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, including “accounted,” “dominant categories,” “downward trend,” and “ranked second,” so the main information is usually understandable. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “opportunities” for jobs, “made a significant progress,” and “most valuable” for the sector with the most jobs. “Accounted the highest value” also needs a more suitable construction, such as “had the highest number of jobs.” Spelling slips, including “oppurtunities,” “whlle,” and “maufacturing,” further reduce accuracy. Aim for precise chart language and check spelling, while avoiding repeated general phrases such as “value” and “progress.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including the overview sentence beginning “Overall” and the clause “which were 16 millions.” Most of the intended meaning can be understood, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “manufacturing sector accounted the highest value” is missing an article and a suitable preposition, while “the healthcare sector made a upward trend” has an article error and an awkward grammatical pattern. There are also problems with number agreement and plurals in “16 millions of jobs,” and “which were 16 millions” does not agree clearly with its reference. Use “the manufacturing sector,” “an upward trend,” and “16 million jobs,” and check that clauses have clear grammatical subjects.

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