Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The informatin given in chart is about the economy of US in the four sectors by the number of jobs form 1960 to 2020. In 1960, the scope of maufacturing is very high.Around 15 million people are involved in it. Retail and agriculture are on the same line with alomst 5.2 million people. Healthcare is below in the chart with only 50,000 people. In 1980,the rate of manufacturing remain increase with 20 million people. Retail also move on increase with 10 million people but agriculture is dramatically decrease and total 60,000 people left behind only. Healthcare go to increase with 5 million people. In 2000, the scope of manufacturing is decrease and the total 15.5 people left behind. Retail is increased with 15 million people. Agriculture is on a period of stability. Healthcare remain increase wit

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify the chart’s subject and report several relevant figures, including manufacturing at about 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and retail at 15 million in 2000. However, the response is incomplete: it stops during the 2000 description, gives no account of 2020, and has no clear overview of the main trends or leading sectors. Some figures are substantially misread: healthcare was about 2 million in 1960, not 50,000, and agriculture was about 3 million in 1980, not 60,000. The 2000 manufacturing figure was about 17 million, rather than 15.5. The response is also 14 words below the required minimum. Cover the full period, correct the data, and summarise the overall rise or decline in each sector.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response follows a broadly chronological order, moving from 1960 to 1980 and then 2000, and the repeated year openings help readers follow the sequence. However, the organisation remains a series of short, loosely connected observations rather than a complete, clearly structured report. There is no separate overview, and the final sentence breaks off at “Healthcare remain increase wit,” leaving the progression unfinished. Connections such as “but” do signal contrast, though the repeated “In [year]” pattern is mechanical and relationships between sectors are not consistently made clear. Use an introduction, a concise overview, and logically grouped details, then complete each comparison and the final period.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “million,” “increase,” “decrease,” and “stability,” so the reader can generally recognise that you are describing changes over time. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are unnatural or unclear, such as “the scope of manufacturing,” “people are involved in it,” and “left behind.” Spelling errors, including “informatin,” “maufacturing,” and “alomst,” also reduce accuracy. Prefer precise terms for employment data, such as “number of jobs” or “employment,” and use verbs like “rose,” “fell,” and “remained stable.” Check spelling and avoid expressions that suggest people were abandoned rather than that job totals changed.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to describe changes using present and past forms, and some basic clauses communicate the intended comparisons. However, verb forms and sentence construction are often inaccurate: “the rate of manufacturing remain increase” and “Healthcare go to increase” need correctly formed past-tense verbs, while “agriculture is dramatically decrease” mixes incompatible forms. Articles and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in “In 1980,the rate” and “In 1960, the scope…” followed immediately by a new sentence without a space. The unfinished final clause further prevents the reader from seeing a complete grammatical structure. Practise simple, accurate past-tense sentences first, then combine them with controlled contrast clauses such as “while” and “whereas.”

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.