Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph shows the information about the number of jobs in four fields related to the economy of the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the jobs of healthcare rose significantly, whereas the employments in manufacturing declined over the period. Comparatively, Retail increased steadily, while agcriculture declined steadily.

In 1960, The jobs in healthcare were below 4 millions then, they climed up dramatically above 15 millions till 2020. The job sector of retail also rose steadily from more than 5 millions to above 15 millions approximately. Since, the fields of healthcare and manufacturing increased in employments positively.

The Manufacturing was the most popular field in 1960 but it faced heavy downfall from 1980 to 2020. The jobs were declined from 20 millions to below 15 millions between 1980 to 1960.Subsequently, the sector of agriculture also attracted the moderate decline over the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the broad contrast between rising healthcare employment and falling agriculture, and note that manufacturing peaked before declining. However, the account is incomplete and includes a major factual error: manufacturing fell from 20 million in 1980 to about 13 million in 2020, not “between 1980 to 1960.” The overview also says manufacturing declined over the period, although it first rose from 15 million to 20 million. Retail’s rise is mentioned, but the important comparison that retail and healthcare both reached about 16 million by 2020 is missed. The response contains 134 words, below the required 150, which limits the detail provided. Develop a more accurate overview and report the key stages and comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about healthcare, retail, manufacturing and agriculture. This gives the reader some organisation, and linking expressions such as “Overall,” “whereas” and “Subsequently” help signal relationships. However, progression is uneven: the third paragraph combines healthcare and retail with an unclear statement about manufacturing, then the final paragraph returns to manufacturing and agriculture. “Since” does not clearly connect the ideas that follow, and the time reference in the manufacturing sentence makes the sequence difficult to follow. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together, with accurate time markers, would make the comparison easier to track.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, including “declined,” “rose significantly,” “steadily” and “dramatically,” so the main trends are generally understandable. However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a graph: “employments” is not normally used as a countable plural, “heavy downfall” is an awkward collocation, and “attracted the moderate decline” does not express the agriculture trend naturally. There are also spelling errors, including “agcriculture” and “climed,” which reduce precision. Aim for standard data-reporting phrases such as “the number of jobs,” “fell sharply” and “experienced a moderate decline.” More precise vocabulary would help distinguish the different trends without relying on broad or awkward expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast with “whereas” and a time clause beginning “In 1960.” However, errors are frequent enough to make some relationships unclear. For example, “In 1960, The jobs … were below 4 millions then, they…” joins clauses incorrectly, while “The jobs were declined” uses an incorrect passive form. The sentence “Since, the fields … increased” is also grammatically incomplete in its connection to the previous point, and “between 1980 to 1960” has an incorrect preposition pattern and reverses the time sequence. There are further issues with articles, plurals and capitalisation. Use shorter, controlled sentences first, then check verb forms, clause boundaries and time expressions.

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