Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

the graph illustrates the numebers (in millions) of jobs in four different categories ( namely manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare) of the economy in the USA between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the graph shows that initially manufacturing sector experienced a rose however, by end of the year it experienced fall. In addition, agriculture also experienced a fall from initial year to final year. However, retail and healthcare sectors significantly rose by end of the year.

Initially, healthcare sector had just over a million jobs which experienced a massive rose by the year 2020 and approximately 15 millions of jobs get enhanced for this factor. Along with that, retail experienced growth initially; it has over 5 millions of trends who had this job; by the year 2020 it grew up to over 15 millions of trends who had this job.

However, manufacturing and agriculture experienced a decline by the year 2020. In the beginning, manufacturing sector had 15 millions of trends who had this job nevertheless, it fall from 15 million to just over 10 millions of trend. Agriculture had over 5 millions of trends who had this job. In addition, by the final year it fall from over 5 millions of trends to just over a million of trends who had this job.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall patterns: manufacturing rises before declining, agriculture falls, and retail and healthcare grow. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing at 15 million initially and agriculture at about 6 million. This gives the response a clear basis in the graph. However, some details are inaccurate or imprecise: healthcare starts at about 2 million, not “just over a million,” and reaches about 16 million; manufacturing peaks at 20 million in 1980 before falling, a key stage omitted from the account. The overview is relevant, but the comparisons and development of individual trends are uneven. Include the major turning points and report the approximate values more accurately to make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview, and separate paragraphs describing the growing and declining sectors. This makes the main direction of the trends reasonably easy to follow. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “In addition,” and “However” help signal relationships between points. At times, though, the progression is mechanical, and repeated phrasing—especially “millions of trends who had this job”—makes the account less clear and less concise. The contrast between the sectors could also be organised more directly, with each paragraph comparing relevant figures across the same years. Use clearer references to the sectors and avoid repeating the same sentence pattern to strengthen cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “experienced a decline,” “growth,” and “approximately,” and the reader can generally understand the trends you intend to describe. However, the range and control of word choice are limited. Several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “experienced a massive rose,” “jobs get enhanced,” and “millions of trends who had this job”; “trends” does not mean people employed in a sector. There is also a spelling error in “numebers.” These choices sometimes make the data difficult to interpret, despite the overall message being recoverable. Build a more precise set of chart-description terms, especially verbs for rising and falling and nouns such as “jobs” or “employment.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “however” and “which,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, control is inconsistent, particularly in verb forms and sentence construction. For example, “it fall from 15 million” should use a past-tense form, while “manufacturing sector experienced a rose” has an incorrect grammatical construction. The sentence beginning “Along with that, retail experienced growth initially; it has…” also shifts awkwardly between past and present. Articles and number agreement are sometimes problematic, as in “manufacturing sector” and “15 millions.” Aim for consistently past-tense reporting, check singular and plural forms, and use shorter, well-controlled sentences when describing each data point.

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