Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrated the information about the number of jobs in four fields related to the economy of the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the jobs in healthcare rose significantly, similarly the employments in retail increased firmly over the period. Subsequently, Manufacturing declined sharply, whereas agriculture also declined steadily.

In 1960, The jobs in healthcare were approximately below 4 millions, then they climbed up dramatically to above 15 millions till 2020. The job sector of retail also grew steadily from more than 5 millions to above 15 millions between 1960 to 2020. Since, the employments of healthcare and retail increased positively and they reached at the same number of jobs in 2020.

The Manufacturing was the most popular field in 1960, moreover it also increased gradually from 1960 to 1980. After its peak, it faced considerable downfall from 1980 to 2020, The jobs were declined from 20 millions to below 15 millions over the period. Subsequently, the sector of agriculture also attracted the gradual decline over the period. The jobs fall from more than 5 millions to below 4 millions over the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You cover all four sectors and give a clear overview of the main directions: healthcare and retail rise, while manufacturing and agriculture fall. Several key comparisons are also accurate, including manufacturing’s 1980 peak and healthcare and retail reaching roughly equal levels by 2020. The figures are generally grounded in the graph, though “healthcare ... above 15 millions” and retail “above 15 millions” are imprecise descriptions of values around 16 million, and the opening healthcare figure is better stated as about 2 million rather than merely below 4 million. The response meets the task, but some details are less fully reported: for example, retail’s steady rise and agriculture’s small plateau from 1980 to 2000 could be described more precisely. A more exact account would strengthen the overview and comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs grouping the rising sectors and the declining sectors. This makes the main trends easy to follow. However, some linking words are used mechanically or do not express the intended relationship. “Subsequently” is not a natural way to contrast manufacturing and agriculture, while “Since” at the start of the third paragraph does not clearly connect the preceding point to the next one. The final paragraph also repeats “over the period” and uses a long sequence of loosely connected statements. Use simpler, more precise links such as “while,” “by contrast,” and “from 1980 onwards,” and make each paragraph’s comparisons progress in a clear order.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “rose significantly,” “increased steadily,” “peak,” and “declined.” These choices communicate the broad movements, and the meaning remains clear. Some less common expressions are not used naturally or precisely: “increased firmly,” “increased positively,” “considerable downfall,” and “attracted the gradual decline” are awkward collocations. “Employments” is also not the appropriate noun for the number of jobs; use “employment” or, more directly, “jobs.” Aim for standard chart-description language and avoid adding intensity that the figures do not support. More accurate choices such as “rose steadily,” “fell considerably,” and “reached similar levels” would make the account more fluent and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a contrast with “whereas” and a time clause beginning “After its peak.” The overall meaning is usually understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. Examples include “below 4 millions” and “from more than 5 millions,” where the unit should be singular after a number; “between 1960 to 2020,” which needs “between ... and” or “from ... to”; and “The jobs were declined,” where the passive form is incorrect. There are also article and punctuation problems, such as capitalising “The” mid-sentence and joining clauses with commas. Check number agreement, verb forms, and sentence boundaries, while retaining the range of sentence patterns you are attempting.

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