Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph tracks the number of jobs in the US in four sectors of the economy between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, there are four sectors: manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare. Healthcare and retail have nearly same percentage, while the agriculture has the lowest percentage over the period.

Manufacturing initially has the highest percentage at 20% in 1980, whereas it drooped to roughly 16% in 2000 and 14% in 2020 which was the major drawback. Furthermore, agriculture stood realtively stable throught the period.

In 1980, retail has 10% numer of jobs, which increased to 15% in 2000. Than in 2020, retail just increased 1%. The figure for healthcare stood at 5% initially, which increased to 11% in 2000, followed by in 2020 it increased to 16%. Retail and healthcare were nearly equal during the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the four sectors and report several relevant trends, including manufacturing’s decline after 1980 and growth in retail and healthcare. However, the overview is not fully accurate: healthcare and retail are not nearly equal throughout the period; they only reach the same level in 2020, while healthcare is lower earlier. Agriculture also falls from about 6 million jobs to 2 million, so describing it as relatively stable misses its overall decline. Some figures are misreported as percentages rather than jobs in millions, and the 1960 data are largely omitted. The response is also below the required 150 words. To strengthen the summary, give a precise overview and compare the main starting and ending figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and paragraphs describing sector trends. This gives the reader a basic route through the information. However, progression is weakened by the way details are selected: manufacturing and agriculture are grouped together, then retail and healthcare, without a clear comparison across the full period. Linking is sometimes awkward or repetitive, as in “Furthermore” and “Than in 2020,” and the final sentence repeats the claim that retail and healthcare were nearly equal. Use clearer time-based grouping and connect comparisons directly—for example, contrast the sectors’ 1960 and 2020 levels—so the report develops more smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “increased,” “stood” and “over the period,” and the sector names are clear. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing employment data. “Percentage” is unsuitable because the graph reports numbers of jobs, while “major drawback” does not describe a downward trend neutrally. There are also spelling errors such as “drooped,” “realtively” and “throught,” and phrases such as “10% numer of jobs” make the meaning less clear. Aim for precise terms such as “number of jobs,” “employment” and “declined,” and check spelling and collocations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple sentences and longer clauses, and most of the main trends can be understood. However, control is uneven, particularly when describing changes over time. For example, “Manufacturing initially has the highest percentage at 20% in 1980” shifts tense and gives an unclear time reference; “Than in 2020, retail just increased 1%” has faulty sentence construction; and “followed by in 2020 it increased” does not form a correct clause. Articles and comparison patterns also need attention, as in “have nearly same percentage.” Use past-tense verbs consistently for this completed period and practise joining trend clauses with accurate structures such as “before falling to” or “which then rose to.”

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