Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrated the information about the number of jobs in four fields related to the economy of the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the jobs of healthcare rose significantly, whereas the employment of retail also increased over the period. Conversely, jobs of manufacturing dropped considerably, whereas the employment of agcriculture declined steadily.

In 1960, The jobs in healthcare were below 5 millions then, they climbed up dramatically to more than 15 millions till 2020. The job sector of retail also rose steadily from more than 5 millions to above 15 millions approximately, over the period. Since, the both sectors made the positive increment and reached at the same number of jobs in 2020.

The Manufacturing was the most popular field in 1960, it also rose gradually till 1980, but then it faced considerable downfall from 1980 to 2020, the jobs were declined from 20 millions to less than 15 millions between over the period. Subsequently, the sector of agriculture also attracted the firm decline over the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall contrast: healthcare and retail rise, while manufacturing and agriculture decline. You also report several key values accurately, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and its fall to below 15 million by 2020. However, some features are less fully or precisely described. Healthcare reaches about 16 million, not merely “more than 15,” and retail ends at about the same level; the claim that both reach “the same number” is sound but would be clearer with the figures. Agriculture falls from 6 million to 2 million, but “firm decline” does not explain that it levels off around 3 million between 1980 and 2000. A more complete comparison of the final rankings would strengthen the summary.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear four-paragraph structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about the rising sectors and then the declining ones. This gives the information a coherent overall arrangement. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “Conversely,” and “Subsequently” help signal relationships, and the reader can follow the broad trends. Some connections are less effective or mechanical, however: “whereas” is repeated in the overview, and “Since, the both sectors…” does not clearly connect the preceding figures to the conclusion. The final paragraph also combines manufacturing’s rise and fall with agriculture’s decline without a clear comparison between them. Use more precise transitions and make each paragraph’s progression explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “rose significantly,” “declined steadily,” “climbed,” and “considerable downfall.” These choices communicate the main movements, and you attempt some less common expressions. However, several collocations or word choices are unnatural or imprecise, such as “jobs of healthcare,” “positive increment,” “reached at the same number,” and “attracted the firm decline.” “Popular field” also suggests popularity rather than employment size. There is a spelling error in “agcriculture,” and repeated use of “jobs” and “sector” limits variety. Prefer standard chart language such as “employment in healthcare,” “increased,” “reached the same level,” and “experienced a sharp decline.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including contrast clauses with “whereas” and time clauses such as “when” and “then.” The main trends remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “In 1960, The jobs … were below 5 millions then, they climbed” joins clauses incorrectly and uses an unnecessary capital letter after the comma. In “Since, the both sectors made … and reached at,” the opening conjunction and article placement are faulty. There are also problems with number and verb patterns in “the jobs were declined” and “from 20 millions.” Aim for cleaner sentence boundaries and consistent past-tense forms, for example, “Employment in healthcare rose from about 2 million to 16 million.”

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