Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The Line graph depicts number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US Between 1960 and 2020.

As an overall assessment, it can clearly be seen that the number of the jobs in Retail as well as healthcare field accelerated drastically between 1960 as well as 2020.

Getting back to the detials, the manufacturing field jobs have in 15 millions in 1960 then rose in 1980 in 20 millions then significant declined from 1980 to 2020.The Retail fields jobs have only 5 millions in the 1960 after that this field job ratio drastically accelerated from 1980 to 2020.

This Retail field job have significant growth in 2020.

Based in the line graph, the Healthcare field was no more growth in the 1960 Only have 2 millions. After that, THis Healthcare field Number of Jobs significantly gained From 1980 to 2020.

the Retail field Jobs as well as Healthcare Jobs Both were have Swollen in 2020.The Agriculture number of jobs was 6 millions jobs have in 1960 then This number drastically went down form 1980 to 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad pattern: retail and healthcare rise, while agriculture declines, and you report manufacturing’s peak at about 20 million in 1980. These are relevant features and the overview gives the reader a general direction. However, several comparisons are incomplete or imprecise. Retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million in 2020, but this key endpoint comparison is only mentioned vaguely; retail is also about 6 million, rather than 5 million, in 1960. The claim that retail grew “from 1980 to 2020” misses its earlier rise from 1960, while agriculture’s fall is not quantified beyond its starting point. Develop the overview around the major ranking changes and support each trend with accurate start and end figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic overall structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about the sectors. This gives the information some organisation. However, progression is difficult to follow because the body repeats points: retail’s growth and the 2020 rise are mentioned more than once, and healthcare and agriculture are introduced without a consistent comparison pattern. Linking phrases such as “Getting back to the details” and “Based in the line graph” do not clearly show how the information relates. Paragraphing also does not separate the trends effectively. Group the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together, then compare their figures in a logical sequence. Use clear references and transitions so each sentence adds a new detail rather than restating an earlier one.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of trend vocabulary, including “rose,” “declined,” “growth,” and “gained,” so the reader can generally understand whether figures increase or decrease. However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a graph, such as “accelerated drastically,” “swollen,” and “no more growth.” Repetition of “field” and “number of jobs” also limits flexibility, while spelling errors such as “detials” and “form” reduce accuracy. Choose precise, conventional terms for changes in data and vary the nouns used to identify sectors. For example, describe a figure as rising or increasing rather than saying a sector “swollen”; this will make the report more natural and exact.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You use some longer sentence forms, including clauses linked with “then” and “after that,” and the main trends are usually understandable. However, sentence control is inconsistent, particularly in descriptions of figures. Examples include “the manufacturing field jobs have in 15 millions” and “This Healthcare field Number of Jobs significantly gained,” where verb forms and sentence structure are faulty. Articles, plurals, and prepositions are also often missing or incorrect, as in “in the 1960” and “in 20 millions.” Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent, including unnecessary capitals within sentences and missing spaces after full stops. Practise a reliable pattern such as “Manufacturing employment stood at 15 million in 1960, then rose to 20 million in 1980.”

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