Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US during 1960 to 2020.

Overall, healthcare and retail shows the upward trend while, the most dramatic decrease was seen in the agriculture. In contrast, manufacturing increased for short time then it decreased in the whole period.

It can be seen clearly, heathcare rose gradually from approximately 3 millions to 5 millions during 1960 to 1980 then it climbed sharply from around 5 millions jobs to 16 millions jobs and it showed the highest figure in the whole period. While retail surged gradually from 6 millions to 16 in the duration of 1960 to 2020. It moves the upward.

In the term of agriculture, it shows the downward trend over the whole period. Agriculture decreased dramatically during 1960 to 2020. In contrast, manufacturing increased from 15 millions to 20 millions between 1960 and 1980 then it started decreasing and reached around 13 millions in the year 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall patterns: healthcare and retail rise, agriculture declines, and manufacturing peaks before falling. The manufacturing figures are reported accurately, and the retail endpoint is also correct. This meets the task well, with an overview and relevant comparisons. However, some details are inaccurate or incomplete: healthcare starts at about 2 million jobs in 1960, not 3 million, and agriculture falls from about 6 million to 2 million, rather than being described only as decreasing “dramatically.” The overview could also make the key comparison clearer: by 2020, healthcare and retail are joint leaders at around 16 million. More precise reporting of these features would make the response more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear basic structure: an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs describing the sectors. The ideas generally progress from broad trends to individual data, and linking expressions such as “Overall” and “In contrast” help signal relationships. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or unclear. “While retail surged…” is separated from the healthcare discussion without a clear contrast, and “It moves the upward” repeats the preceding point rather than adding information. The agriculture and manufacturing paragraph also shifts between sectors without a strong organising link. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining or fluctuating sectors together, while using fewer repetitive transitions, would improve the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of trend vocabulary, including “rose gradually,” “climbed sharply,” “surged,” and “decreased.” These choices help communicate the main movements, although some are repeated or imprecise. Phrases such as “It moves the upward” and “In the term of agriculture” are unnatural, while “the most dramatic decrease” overstates the agriculture trend without supporting detail. There are also spelling and word-form errors, notably “heathcare” and “millions” where the unit should be expressed as “million jobs.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and vary your descriptions without adding unnecessary repetition. For example, describe agriculture as declining steadily and specify its start and end values.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast with “while” and a sequence describing manufacturing’s rise and fall. However, errors in agreement, articles, plurals, and sentence construction are noticeable. For example, “healthcare and retail shows” should use a plural verb, and “from approximately 3 millions to 5 millions” has an incorrect plural form for the unit. The sentence beginning “While retail surged…” is a fragment, and “It moves the upward” is not a well-formed sentence. Punctuation is also inconsistent, including unnecessary commas after “while.” Practise building complete sentences around comparisons and checking subject–verb agreement and unit expressions; this will make your meaning more consistently clear.

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