Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 7.0)
The line graph provides the data on the number of jobs, in millions, in four sectors (Manufacturing,Retail,Agriculture and Healthcare)of economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, Initially Manufacturing was the large employer, however it declined over the period. while Healthcare and Retail saw a significant growth. Agriculture remained the smallest sector throughout the period.
In 1960, Manufacturing provided around15 million jobs, far higher than Retail at around 7million and Agriculture at about 6 million. Health sector had the fewest jobs at only 1-2 million. By 1980, Manufacturing reached peak atnearly 20 million, while Retail increasedto around 9million, and Healthcare rose to about 5 million.Agriculture declined to around 3million.
After 1980, Manufacturing fell steadily to about 13 million in 2020. In contrast,Retail and Health care grew rapidly. By 2000, Retail reached about 15million Healthcare about 11 million. By 2020, bothRetail and Health care reached about 16million, overtaking Manufacturing Agriculture fell to less than 2 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 8.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 8.0
The response selects the main features accurately and gives a clear overview: manufacturing starts as the largest employer and then declines, healthcare and retail grow, and agriculture remains the smallest sector. The key comparisons are supported with relevant figures, including manufacturing’s peak of about 20 million in 1980 and retail and healthcare both reaching around 16 million by 2020. The account also captures the broad changes at the intermediate dates. This is a well-developed summary with no significant misreading of the chart. To make the coverage even more complete, state explicitly that retail overtakes manufacturing by 2000, rather than only noting the crossover by 2020; otherwise, the selection and reporting of features are strong.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0
The response is organised effectively into an introduction, an overview, and two chronological detail paragraphs. The progression from 1960 to 1980 and then from 1980 to 2020 is easy to follow, and contrasts such as “In contrast” help signal the changing trends. The overview also gives the reader a useful framework before the figures are presented. Some linking and punctuation are less controlled: “Overall, Initially” combines two opening signals, and the final paragraph places several figures close together without consistently separating the clauses. Use transitions selectively and punctuate each comparison clearly—for example, separate the 2000 retail and healthcare figures into a complete sentence. This would make the already logical progression smoother.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.5
The vocabulary is adequate for describing the graph, with useful trend language such as “declined,” “reached peak,” “grew rapidly,” and “overtaking.” These choices communicate the main movements clearly, and the response varies its references to the sectors. However, some phrasing is imprecise or awkward, including “the large employer,” “saw a significant growth,” and “reached peak.” There are also inconsistent forms such as “Health sector” and “Health care,” and missing spaces make several expressions look less controlled. Aim for more natural collocations, such as “largest employer,” “experienced significant growth,” and “reached a peak.” This would add precision and polish while retaining the clear, task-appropriate vocabulary already present.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
The response uses a mix of simple and more complex structures, including contrast clauses with “while” and “however,” and most of the trends remain understandable. Some grammatical errors and punctuation problems persist, though. For example, “Manufacturing was the large employer” needs a more suitable superlative form, while “Healthcare and Retail saw a significant growth” has an unnecessary article. In “By 2000, Retail reached about 15million Healthcare about 11 million,” the second figure lacks a finite verb and the two clauses need clearer separation. Capitalisation and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in “Overall, Initially.” Review articles, complete clauses, and punctuation, and proofread spacing around commas and full stops. More accurate control of these basics would strengthen the varied sentence forms.
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