Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of US economy between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, The number of jobs in healthcare increased significantly, whereas retail employment also rose steadily over the period. Conversely, manufacturing employment declined dramatically after reaching the peak in 1980, whereas agricultural employment dropped gradually and it remained the smallest employment sector by 2020.

In 1960, number of jobs in healthcare were about 2 million, gradually it climbed to 5 million in 1980. After 1980, the healthcare sector grew dramatically and it reached at 16 million in 2020. Similarly, retail also increased from 6 million to 10 million between 1960 and 1980. After 1980 retail employment further rose to 15 million in 2000 approximately, then it also climbed steadily to 16 million in 2000. Consequently, both healthcare and retail grew positively and reached the same number of jobs in 2020.

The manufacturing was the largest employment sector in 1960, and it also rose steadily from 15 million to 20 million between 1960 and 1980. After 1980, manufacturing sector fall considerably from 20 million jobs to 17 million jobs approximately in 2000. After 2000 this sector further dropped to 13 million approximately in

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main contrasting trends: healthcare and retail rise, while manufacturing and agriculture decline overall, and you correctly note manufacturing’s 1980 peak and healthcare’s growth to 16 million. However, coverage is incomplete: the response ends while describing manufacturing and gives no account of agriculture’s figures or its fall to about 2 million. There is also a factual inconsistency: retail reaches about 16 million in 2020, not 2000, although you later correctly say retail and healthcare finish at the same level. The overview is relevant, but the missing sector detail and the unfinished final comparison leave important features under-reported. Check each endpoint and include all four sectors.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and paragraphs describing the rising sectors and manufacturing. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “Conversely” and “Similarly” help signal comparisons. However, progression is weakened by repeated sequencing phrases (“After 1980” and “After 2000”) and by the retail timeline contradiction, which makes the reader unsure when it reaches 16 million. The final paragraph also stops mid-sentence, leaving the discussion incomplete, and agriculture is not integrated into the body. Organise the details into clear comparisons across the same time points, and ensure each paragraph reaches a complete conclusion.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of task-related vocabulary, including “employment,” “sector,” “increased significantly,” “declined” and “reached the same number.” These choices make the main trends understandable, and some variation avoids relying only on “jobs.” There are, however, awkward or imprecise combinations, such as “grew positively,” “reached at 16 million” and “the manufacturing was the largest employment sector.” “Climbed” and “rose” are also repeated frequently. Aim for more natural collocations and precise trend language, such as “employment rose,” “reached 16 million,” and “manufacturing had the highest employment.” This would improve fluency and precision while retaining your clear, relevant vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a contrast structure with “whereas” and time clauses beginning “After 1980.” Most of the intended meaning remains clear. Some grammatical errors recur, however: “between 1960 to 2020” uses the wrong paired preposition, “number of jobs … were” has article and agreement problems, and “manufacturing sector fall” lacks the correct past-tense form. The sentence about retail reaching 16 million “in 2000” also conflicts with the later endpoint statement, so check that the time reference matches the intended data. The final sentence is incomplete. Review articles, subject–verb agreement and past-tense forms, and proofread sentence endings and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.