Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of US economy between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, The number of jobs in healthcare increased significantly, whereas retail employment also rose steadily over the period. Conversely, manufacturing employment declined dramatically after reaching the peak in 1980, whereas agricultural employment dropped gradually and it remained the smallest employment sector by 2020.

In 1960, number of jobs in healthcare were about 2 million, gradually it climbed to 5 million in 1980. After 1980, the healthcare sector grew dramatically and it reached at 16 million in 2020. Similarly, retail also increased from 6 million to 10 million between 1960 and 1980. After 1980 retail employment further rose to 15 million in 2000 approximately, then it also climbed steadily to 16 million in 2020. Consequently, both healthcare and retail grew positively and reached the same number of jobs in 2020.

Manufacturing was the largest employment sector in 1960, and it also rose steadily from 15 million to 20 million between 1960 and 1980. After reaching to its peak in 1980, manufacturing sector fall considerably from 20 million jobs to 17 million jobs approximately in 2000. After 2000 this sector further dropped to 13 million jobs approximately in 2020. Subsequently, agriculture also declined from 6 million to 3 million between 1960 to 1980. Algricultural employment remained stable till 2000, but after 2000 it further dropped to 2 million between 2000 to 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.5

The response selects the main trends and supports them with relevant figures: healthcare and retail rise to about 16 million jobs, manufacturing peaks at 20 million before falling, and agriculture ends as the smallest sector. The overview clearly contrasts the growing sectors with the declining ones, and the comparisons are generally accurate. This is a strong, well-supported account of the graph. To make the coverage more complete, clarify the relative ranking at key points—for example, manufacturing remained above retail in 2000, while healthcare and retail were level by 2020. Also avoid slightly imprecise descriptions such as “declined dramatically” for manufacturing, whose fall is steady rather than especially sharp. The response otherwise addresses the task effectively and stays grounded in the data.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The four paragraphs provide a clear structure: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs grouping the rising and declining sectors. The sequence within each paragraph is mostly chronological, and linking expressions such as “Conversely,” “Similarly,” and “After 2000” help readers follow the comparisons. This gives the report a coherent overall progression. However, some transitions feel mechanical or repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “After” and “also,” and “Consequently” does not express a clear cause-and-effect relationship between the two sectors reaching the same figure. The final paragraph also shifts from manufacturing to agriculture without a particularly smooth link. More varied, precise transitions and clearer connections between comparisons would strengthen cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The response uses an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “increased significantly,” “rose steadily,” “peak,” “declined,” and “remained stable.” These choices make the main movements clear, and the repeated use of “employment” and “sector” suits the topic. Some wording is less natural or precise, however: “grew positively” is awkward, “reached at” is an inaccurate collocation, and “declined dramatically” overstates the manufacturing decrease. There is also a spelling error in “Algricultural.” Aim for more exact trend language and check spelling; for example, distinguish a steady fall from a sharp decline and use natural combinations such as “reached 16 million” or “employment rose.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The report attempts a mix of simple and complex sentences, including contrast clauses with “whereas” and time clauses beginning “After 1980.” Meaning is generally clear, but some grammatical errors recur. Examples include “between 1960 to 2020” (use “between 1960 and 2020”), “number of jobs … were” (the subject “number” takes “was”), and “manufacturing sector fall” (the past-tense verb should be “fell”). Article use is also inconsistent in phrases such as “in 1960, number of jobs.” Capitalisation after “Overall” is incorrect, and the extra full stop at the end of the retail paragraph should be removed. More reliable control of agreement, tense, articles, and punctuation would improve accuracy.

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