Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The graph illustrates the change in number of jobs, expressed in millions in the US across four areas (manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare) from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the number of jobs in retail and healthcare industry rose significantly in the years while that of manufacturing and agriculture sectors underwent slight reduction in comparison to their initial numbers.

Retail industry provided employment to 6 million in 1960, which increased considerably to reach about 16 million in 2020. The field of healthcare produced the least number of opportunities in 1960, of about 2 million. The number went up rapidly to finish around 16 million in 2020.

The job opportunities in manufacturing sector were about 15 million in 1960 which grew till 1980 to reach 20 million and went down significantly to finish around 13 million in 2020. In 1960, the agriculture industry produced around 6 million jobs which declined gradually to just 3 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You provide a clear overview of the main contrast: retail and healthcare rise, while manufacturing and agriculture end below their starting levels. The key figures for retail, healthcare and manufacturing are reported accurately, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980. This gives the response a well-supported account of the main trends. However, the overview slightly over-generalises by describing manufacturing and agriculture as undergoing a “slight reduction”: manufacturing first rises substantially, and agriculture falls from 6 million to 2 million. The agriculture figure at the end is also given as 3 million rather than about 2 million. To strengthen the report further, make the overview more precise and include the important crossover: by 2020, retail and healthcare are joint leaders at around 16 million.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response is arranged in a clear sequence: an introduction, an overview, and then paragraphs describing the rising sectors and the declining sectors. This makes the main trends easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “Overall,” “which increased,” and “In 1960” help connect details. The organisation is coherent, though the progression could be more flexible and comparisons could be integrated more directly. For example, retail and healthcare are described separately even though both reach about 16 million in 2020; explicitly comparing them would create a stronger link between the data. Some repeated sentence openings, particularly “The number…” and “In 1960,” also make the cohesion slightly mechanical. Use varied referencing and comparison phrases to make the report flow more naturally.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use an adequate range of task-related vocabulary, including “increased considerably,” “declined gradually,” “rose significantly,” and “finish around,” so the trends are generally clear. There is also some variation in how you refer to employment, such as “jobs” and “employment.” However, several choices are imprecise or unnatural for describing a graph: “the number of jobs … rose … in the years” is vague, “produced the least number of opportunities” is an awkward collocation, and “grew till 1980” is less suitable than a precise trend verb. “Industry” is also repeated where “sector” would be more natural and consistent. Aim for concise, accurate expressions such as “employment in healthcare,” “peaked at,” and “fell to,” while avoiding claims about “opportunities” when the chart measures jobs.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including relative clauses such as “which increased considerably” and “which declined gradually.” Most sentences communicate the intended trends, and punctuation generally supports readability. Some grammatical inaccuracies remain, particularly with articles and sentence construction. For example, “in retail and healthcare industry” needs a plural or an article (“in the retail and healthcare sectors”), while “in manufacturing sector” also needs an article or plural form. In “Retail industry provided employment to 6 million,” the article is missing and the construction is incomplete; “The retail sector employed 6 million people” is clearer. The phrase “the number … grew till 1980 to reach 20 million and went down” also has an awkwardly coordinated structure. More consistent article use and tighter sentence patterns would improve accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.