Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph below provides key information about different number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. The sectors comprises of manufacturing, retail, agriculture & healthcare.

Overall, it is clear from the graph that the jobs in the health care sector has increased rapidly, decade by decades. In addition, the retail sector has also shown an incline between 2000 and 2020.

According to what is shown, the manufacturing sector was noticibly the highest, accounting for 20 Millions job in 1980. Meanwhile, the agriculture showed rapid decline, starting from 6 Millions jobs to 2 millions over the decades.

In terms of healthcare and the retail sectors, the US economy got a massive raise because of the number of jobs allocated by the year, 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify all four sectors and report several relevant features, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million jobs in 1980 and agriculture’s decline from about 6 million to 2 million. However, the summary is partial: it does not give a clear account of the full trends or compare the sectors at key points. The overview says healthcare rose “decade by decades” and retail increased from 2000 to 2020, but healthcare also rose strongly across the whole period, while retail grew steadily from 6 million in 1960. The final claim about a “massive raise” is unclear and does not specify the 2020 figures. The response is 114 words, below the required 150; develop the main trends and comparisons with accurate supporting details.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs. This gives the reader a basic route through the information, and phrases such as “Overall” and “Meanwhile” help signal relationships. However, progression is limited because the final paragraph groups healthcare and retail without explaining their separate trends or comparing their figures. Some links are also imprecise: “In terms of healthcare and the retail sectors” does not clearly connect to the preceding discussion, and “because of the number of jobs allocated by the year, 2020” is difficult to follow. Organise the details by clear comparisons or trends, and use linking phrases to show those relationships rather than simply introducing another topic.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “sector,” “accounting for,” and “rapid decline,” which helps communicate the subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear. “Different number of jobs” is awkward, “shown an incline” is not the natural expression for an increase, and “massive raise” does not clearly describe the data. There are also spelling and form issues, such as “noticibly” and “Millions” used inconsistently. Aim for precise trend language and use it consistently—for example, describe a sector as rising, falling, peaking, or remaining stable, and state the relevant figures rather than relying on vague intensifiers.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of sentence forms, including an overview sentence beginning “Overall” and a comparison introduced by “Meanwhile.” The main meaning is generally recoverable, but errors in agreement, articles, and sentence construction are noticeable. For example, “the jobs … has increased” has a plural subject with a singular verb, while “the sectors comprises” also has incorrect agreement. “20 Millions job” and “the agriculture showed” contain problems with number and article use. The final sentence, “the US economy got a massive raise because of the number of jobs allocated by the year, 2020,” is grammatically awkward and obscures the intended meaning. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and build clear comparative sentences around the figures.

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