Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph below shows number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Number of jobs in the healthcare and retail sector saw an increase overtime while manufacturing and agriculture experienced decline.

Manufacturing started out on top with 15 million jobs in the 1960's and the number rose in the first decade but experienced sharp decrease over the next period of time. Retail and agriculture vacancies were same in numbers at approximately 6 million. While retail numbers rose over time to upto 16 million, agricultural field related jobs suffered from a steady decline and the number reached to almost 1 million in 2020. Biggest gain in the numbers is shown by the healthcare sector as it was at about 2.5 million in the first decade and the number rose at a countinuous rate over the period of time until it reached to about 16 million. Healthcare and retail jobs are at the same position at the end.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall contrast: healthcare and retail rise, while manufacturing and agriculture decline overall. You also report several relevant figures, including manufacturing at 15 million initially and retail and agriculture at about 6 million. However, some details are inaccurate: manufacturing peaks at 20 million in 1980, not simply in the “first decade,” and agriculture ends at about 2 million, rather than almost 1 million. The overview could also state more clearly that manufacturing is initially the largest sector, while retail and healthcare both finish at about 16 million. The response is 148 words, below the required 150; the 16 words copied from the prompt are excluded from the count. Add a little more accurate comparison and detail.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The information is presented in a generally understandable order, moving from an overview to details about manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare. Linking words such as “while” and “as” help show contrasts and causes. However, the response is written as one block rather than being clearly divided into an overview and a details paragraph, and some connections are awkward: “Retail and agriculture vacancies were same in numbers” is followed by a fragment beginning “While retail numbers rose…”. The sequence of changes is also not always easy to follow because “the first decade” and “the next period of time” do not clearly identify the years. Use distinct paragraphs and refer directly to the chart’s time points to make progression clearer.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of trend vocabulary, including “increase,” “decline,” “rose,” “steady decline” and “biggest gain,” so the main patterns are communicated. Some choices, however, are imprecise or unnatural for describing employment data. “Vacancies” does not accurately mean the total number of jobs shown, and “agricultural field related jobs” is cumbersome. There are also spelling errors in “countinuous” and the nonstandard form “upto.” Aim for concise, precise chart language and check spelling. For example, describe the figures as “employment” or “jobs,” and use “reached” rather than “reached to” when reporting an endpoint.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response includes both simple statements and attempts at longer, connected sentences, and the overall meaning is usually clear. Some grammatical errors remain. In “Retail and agriculture vacancies were same in numbers,” the article is missing (“were the same”), while “the number rose in the first decade” uses an unclear time reference and does not accurately express the chart’s period. The sentence beginning “While retail numbers rose…” is not a complete sentence when separated from the preceding one. There are also awkward constructions such as “the number rose at a countinuous rate … until it reached to about 16 million.” Practise joining dependent clauses to complete sentences and use accurate forms such as “reached about 16 million.”

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